The wedding guide: get your groom's outfit right (2/4)

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TIIIIIIIN... TIIIIIIN... TINDIN TIN TIN TIN TIN TADADA TADADA!

For those who don't have a musical ear, it was Mendelssohn's wedding march. With the intro, which always reminds me of the Rocky theme. After all, isn't marriage a daily battle? Is married life a ring? Can you knock someone out with too much affection? You have two hours.

But by the way, as it is customary to say: CONGRATULATIONS! And also: long live the newlyweds!

Well, that's for the big day . In the meantime, you're going to have to get dressed. It's a bit of a pressure on your shoulders, I imagine. One evening, you may have even ventured onto Pinterest in search of inspiration.

Good start. Except you don't know whether to count on the sun or the rain. Whether a bow tie would work. Whether a three-piece suits you. Whether dried flowers or fresh flowers. Whether the lapel should be 7 or 7.5 cm.

Calm down. I'm here. Everything's going to be okay.

First, take some dried flowers. That's one thing taken care of. For the rest, I invite you to continue.

That could be you before you signed the register.

You asked for advice around you and received all sorts of answers:

Answer 1:

For your colleague who recently got married, nowadays, we get married in a cool way, no hassle, relaxed and joyful. For his wedding, he was in a shirt with a tie badly tied around his neck, chinos and white sneakers. He concluded with a pat on the shoulder: "Times have changed, old man!"

Answer 2:

For one of your friends, on the other hand, you need the classic English outfit, very strict: the jacket clean and beautiful like a sentence in the imperative. He says: "It's your wedding, not a colleague's leaving party!"

Answer 3:

And your grandmother has another different opinion: "Why are you getting married? Three-quarters of them end in divorce!" Nice granny.

Okay, that's all well and good, but what about you? What do you want?

I would say two months.

No less.

If you choose a semi-custom suit, it's four to five weeks on average. When it goes smoothly. A bespoke suit takes much longer.

And then, it is quite possible that you will not find it the first time, during your first shopping trip. And even: I advise you not to find it the first time. Be a little picky for once!

Example: sometimes shoes are difficult to choose because you have to find the shape in which you will feel good . And besides, I advise you to walk with them before the big day. Shoes that are too new are not ideal:

1. You're going to put them on in the morning and take them off late at night, if all goes well. If they're not comfortable, you're not going to have a good day. That would be a shame.
2. Shoes that look too new lack authenticity. It's almost as if you're not really wearing them, but they're wearing you.

You're screwed, old man.

Everything is fine.

If you have a week: take your measurements with a tape measure and go to SuitSupply to order a shirt, suit, belt and tie. They deliver quickly. Go and beg an alterations technician to do the hem, sleeves and everything else that needs to be done express. It can be done. For shoes, you can find the Loding or Finsbury brand everywhere in France.

If you have less than a week... take a one-way ticket to somewhere very far away and never come back.

NB: It would still suit me if you continued reading this article.

Listen only to yourself and your desires.

And especially be wary of brands dedicated to weddings , because their marketing axis skews their products. These brands will do everything to give their products a different touch, a wedding touch. And for this to be read, they will exaggerate the shine, the shape of the clothes.

The best way to go wrong is to trust these brands.

And probably also the specialist blogs which too often want to dress you up as a groom.

I guarantee it 100%: you will feel bad in clothes you didn't choose.

Your mother-in-law thinks the pale pink bow tie goes well with the pink of your cheeks, but you feel uncomfortable about it. You feel like you're in disguise.

Make your point, defend it, threaten not to come on the day if necessary !

A stylish man is a man who looks good in his clothes. Already.

The first thing you need to determine is how formal you want your outfit to be .

What kind of groom do you want to be? The timeless classic? The understated yet distinguished groom? The cool groom? Do you have a theme that is particularly close to your heart, as well as to the person by your side?

Think about it, think about your surroundings, who you are deep down and determine what level of formality will suit you best. Often you know it without even having to think about it.

That's what the groom is all about. I think that's what drives you as a groom. Am I wrong?

More than the color of your clothes, you must especially pay attention to the cut of your clothes. That they are really well adapted to your body shape. Do not believe that what is slim is necessarily better. This is a big mistake.

And I think a boutonniere is the surest way to stand out without overdoing it. Let's be clear, leave the bouquets for table decorations. Too much floral effort could drag your entire bust down and make you fall!

Here I am talking about a minimal composition, with a natural flower, of a color that no one else will have and that can only be found in your wife's bouquet or in your husband's buttonhole.

That's the mindset you need to adopt regarding your wedding outfit.

Now, let's get to the heart of the matter because for those who are undecided, those who come to read this article looking for a clear answer, I have an outfit suggestion for you.

If you don't know what to wear, wear this

By using my brain cells, I came up with an outfit that suggests you're the groom, while still giving you dignity and elegance . And that will also allow guys like me to be able to dress up at your wedding without being afraid of being more dressed up than you. That means a lot to me, by the way. Thank you.

In summary:

• A two-button, single-breasted, medium-rise, navy blue suit with tailored lapels.
• A matching double-breasted shawl collar vest .
• A white shirt with musketeer cuffs whose collar matches, in proportion, the lapels .
• A white silk pocket.
• A buttonhole that can be made from natural flowers elsewhere. Here, it is a little small but we would not want it to be, on the contrary, too big.
• A silk tie that doesn't shine. A light gray is elegant. But you can also imagine a beige.
• Rather round, straight-toe Oxford shoes: black if you opt for a gray tie, brown if you opt for beige.
• Navy blue socks like the suit.

Why this choice?

Don't stand out by the color, but by the shape of the suit.
A navy blue, a beautiful deep blue (without falling into indigo or electric blue) is enough. It enhances you. If it is well cut, it will flatter your body shape and it is the best way to stand out.

The double-breasted waistcoat under the single-breasted jacket brings your touch, that of the groom, the one that no one else should have at your wedding. If someone comes in a three-piece suit, there is little chance that he will have the same one as you.

And don't worry, people already recognize you by your face, no need to have your costume printed on the back .

A possible twist is to play up the tie game. I find that polka dots are of a rare elegance. A light gray with white polka dots, small and not very spaced is a good idea.

You will find a mountain of possibilities in this article about the tie . The suit is here.

Now I'm going to try to answer some questions that I've read in the comments of previous topics and I'll start by hitting hard...

Why You Shouldn't Wear an Electric Blue (or Royal Blue) Suit

Argument 1

First of all, having worked in ready-to-wear, I can tell you something: everyone wants to get married in a royal blue suit.

All.

THE.

World.

And when I say "everyone," I mean 70% of the brides and grooms I met in store.

Argument 2

I know what you're thinking: "I want people to notice that I'm the groom, but I don't want to go too far either. So a base of blue. But a blue that has something to say, a bluer blue, a royal blue, an electric blue!"

Only, this very strong blue, it is on your jacket, on your pants and maybe even on your waistcoat. And it is a strong piece! Really strong in truth. It is astonishing how the electric blue suit has become the prerogative of the groom , it has entered his panoply and that is exactly why you should not give in to his calls.

He disguises you as a groom.

You wanted cognac shoes? Groom's costume.

A liberty bow tie and its matching pocket square? Groom's costume.

Why not leave behind those clothes that disguise you, that vulgarize you, and instead choose the path of timeless elegance?

When we look at your wedding photos in several years, should we say: "how elegant! wow, you were so thin!" or "oh my, the 2020s were a style apart!"?

By the way, if you absolutely want to wear a bow tie, I invite you to read the first article in this wedding guide .

It is much easier to master the tie well. For this reason, it is my favorite.

The bow tie and the ascot are tempting in that they make you look married. However, it is difficult to be well dressed with either one. The ascot in particular, which I strongly advise against.

Often, as a groom, one is tempted to opt for a light-colored neck accessory. It is possible. As long as it does not shine.

Let's say it right away: I don't think the bow tie goes particularly well with this theme. Quite the opposite.

The bow tie is meant to be extremely refined rather than casual. It's Daniel Day-Lewis in Phantom Thread .

Now you know what we think of the bow tie worn with clip-on suspenders over chinos and sneakers.

Here is my proposal:

With some changes though:

• Swap out slip-ons for soft loafers in suede or go all out with espadrilles.
• You can wear the jacket of this suit on the shoulders, a pocket square will not be necessary, or in natural tones (light brown for example) and provided that it is made of linen or cotton.
• The shirt could very well have an officer collar. It would look great here.

Yes, the rustic chic or bohemian chic theme often comes up. We imagine the bride and groom sitting on bales of straw. And it's a tempting theme. It's relaxed, while maintaining a certain distinction.

And that's why I think it's perfectly appropriate to reinterpret the modern suit with a big dose of casual, like here.

If the wedding is in winter, simply replace this cotton, this linen, with a beautiful speckled tweed , a rustic flannel that crisps, again in brown or light gray, worn with boots.

You don't need to do anything more. A flower in the buttonhole and it's done.

There are marriages that are demonstrations of etiquette, subject to the strictest formality, and that is how they flourish. In such marriages, there is no need to look for a groom who is 'East :

• A black jacket.
• A vest in the color of fresh butter, they say, or something more daring (raspberry, for example).
• The traditional charcoal striped pants.
• Black Richelieus.
• The white shirt.
• The tie.
• The top hat.

The good thing about this outfit is that it obeys codes that we cannot escape. If you choose this option, go for it. However, if your family is not in this aesthetic, then it will seem a little anachronistic.

First of all, you should not give in to a whim if your spouse does not follow this aesthetic in his or her wedding outfit. Such an outfit coupled with a very loose and unconventional wedding dress will look wobbly.

In the BonneGueule team, Déborah was in charge of the acquisition strategy on social networks. She told me that her husband, of Indian origin, wanted to pay tribute to his culture while they got married in France.

It's legitimate. Especially when you come from a culture that values ​​these ceremonies so much. You have to see the outfits of the bride and groom in India. Type these keywords into Google, it's the beginning of a journey.

So he opted for a jacket with a particular cut, without lapels but with a sort of mandarin collar, buttoned up to the neck, with a white shirt underneath and trousers matching the jacket.

Again, you have to be careful that it doesn't clash too much with your partner's outfit. But I think it's a nice way to do it.

The stylistic flops that can be seen just by googling "groom white suit" should put us all off. That's why I don't recommend white for the groom.

However, I recognize that it can be tempting and if you really want to do it, here is what I advise you:

1. First of all, don't take it pure white , take it ecru, light beige, off-white, but never bland white. Because the guests won't be able to look you in the eye because you'll be like a giant mirror that will distribute the sun's rays like so many slaps in the face.
2. Then it is more suitable for a summer wedding.
3. The environment is essential. As much as I can see a white suit by the sea, I can't imagine it coming out of a town hall stuck between two buildings. Context is everything.
4. In my opinion, if you're going to go for white, go for the casual, boho chic side, rather than the slick white. The white you don't mind getting dirty is better than the "I look down at my chair before I sit down" white. You want the white that says you're free. You want Marcello Mastroianni on the beach at the end of Fellini's La Dolce Vita.
5. The rest of the outfit should be sober. The message is already strong enough with the white suit. You are the groom, it shows.
6. Take a sharply cut suit, yes. But with a little roominess, comfort. Worn without a belt, without a tie. A suit with a very light construction, which sits on you like a veil.

This could give this:

You will have understood that the white suit is only worn with attention to detail . All the details in fact.

If you want to wear a tie, keep it simple: a knitted silk tie in navy or olive green or brown or camel/mustard depending on your outfit. And non-formal shoes. Suede loafers or derbies are perfect.

Let's say it right away: I don't think the bow tie goes particularly well with this theme. Quite the opposite.

The bow tie is meant to be extremely refined rather than casual. It's Daniel Day-Lewis in Phantom Thread.

Now you know what we think of the bow tie worn with clip-on suspenders over chinos and sneakers.

Here is my proposal:

It's always strange to see the groom in a tuxedo and the rest of the congregation in simple suits.

It's a bit embarrassing even.

The tuxedo is only elegant when it is part of a black tie ceremony. So I think that if this is your choice, you should specify on the invitation that the wedding party will follow this theme.

Then, you can't spend the whole wedding day in a tuxedo. It's an evening wear only. So, for the day you need another outfit that isn't black by the way.

In this article on the end-of-year celebrations, you will find how to dress well in a tuxedo .

Our articles are already full of good addresses that remain so when we talk about marriage. However, I wanted to give you some here to conclude this article. These are brands that have my personal preference.

Suit

Ready-to-wear

• Silbon
• SuitSupply
• Boggi Milano
• Pine Parma
• Wicket
• Boglioli
• Berg&Berg

Half measure

• Lanieri
• Ardent Clipei
• Husbands

Shirt

• Hast
• Cotton Society
• Howard's
• Husbands

Ties

• Shibumi Florence
• Viola Milano
• Drake's

Bow tie

• The Knotting Workshop
• The Dormouse as a Butterfly
• Like Wolves

Pouch

• Mr London
• Simonnot Godard
• Anderson & Sheppard

Shoes

• Seventh Width
• Carmina
• Crockett & Jones

Long live the groom(s)!