The wedding guide: how to pull off your outfit (1/4)

This first article on marriage is for everyone, regardless of your role in the wedding(s) that await you. Its purpose is to lay things out flat.

Others are there to look more specifically at the role of each: groom , best man/father of the groom and if you are invited , then this is where it happens .

A little taste of what you will find in this topic:

• What color and/or pattern of suit should you choose depending on the season?
• How to match multiple patterns?
• What color shoes to choose?
• How to wear a bow tie properly?
• Can you wear black to a wedding?

And other questions that I found here and there in the comments or that David sent me. You will find the brands that we recommend in the various links made available to you throughout the text.

I insist: in other articles, I will come back to the particularities of the witness, the father of the groom, the guest and the groom. This will be an opportunity to question the wearing of the electric blue suit for the groom and to know if, yes or no, one can wear white sneakers to a wedding .

For now, I want to ask this question, as the basis for all future wedding articles: what is the difference between “looking good” and “being good” ?

Yes, yes, it is linked and it is even fundamental.

A wedding, no matter what your role, is always an opportunity to show yourself in the best light. So, shall we go? Do you have a few minutes to spare?

Here we go.

Make no mistake: it is impossible to wear jeans and sneakers every day, to only look at questions of style from afar and to become, overnight, a master of formal elegance. This is a statement without value judgment.

He who can do more can do less.

But he who can do the least... can only do the least.

Because clothing is not a science and causes do not always produce the same effects. "Class" is not due to each person who puts on a suit. By that I mean that style is not the result of the superposition of stylish pieces. That would be too easy.

You have to keep a cool head, moderate your enthusiasm and put away that sky blue suit... At first, anyway.

Because clothing is more art than science. A minor art, I agree, but still: it presupposes, in addition to strict technical mastery (knowing one's morphology, which materials produce which effects, etc.), certain intuitions that are formed with time and experience.

For example, if you have never worn a bow tie or suspenders in your life, maybe you will not succeed the first time. Surely, even, you will fail and fall into disguise and caricature.

Disguise is the opposite of style.

At weddings, we often see guests dressed as guests, witnesses dressed as witnesses, and the bride and groom dressed as the groom.

And when it's 3am and we're dancing, we don't really care, that's true. However, when we're sitting there with our arms crossed in the audience and thousands of eyes are looking at us, then it's obvious that something's wrong. Well, not in everyone's eyes because after all: "it looks classy".

And that's the problem.

Combining elements of style considered part of the groom's outfit, for example , is part of "dressing well."

And wearing a tie and matching pocket square is part of the same logic of panoply and not of style. Too much affectation.

"Being well dressed" means constructing your outfit according to the weather conditions, the degree of formality of the event you are attending, your physical characteristics and being comfortable with your clothes - that is to say comfortable in the primary sense of the term and also in the sense of being in phase with the image that they send of us.

Here's someone who looks comfortable in his clothes:

Go for what seems natural: in tones, in proportions (ridiculously small or too large lapels are a fashion statement, but lapels that reach the middle of the shoulder will seem more natural, like the photograph above), in materials depending on the season, etc.

The problem is often the people around you who will not have a vision as sharp as yours and will often advise you badly while wanting to do well. And it is no one's fault. However, take a step back: if someone tells you "that looks classy", use your critical sense. It is probably because you look disguised, even though the person who told you this does not think anything bad about it or realize it.

Yes, I know it's a bit long and you came for something practical so I'll get to it. But it was important.

No secret, you should wear a suit.

Straight (i.e. not crossed), two-button.

We'll refine this in later articles, but really... you should wear a suit .

Besides, if you don't wear a suit to this event, when will you wear one?

4 reasons to wear a suit to a wedding:

1. A costume because it is a sign of respect towards the union you are celebrating (even more so if it is yours)
2. A suit to highlight your sense of propriety, your discreet elegance and your humility
3. A suit because it is very easy to look good in a suit.
4. A suit because the last thing you're expected to do at a wedding is create a surprise.

But that's not all!

Because, from this universal base, a neutral springboard for your expression, you can move the cursor of formality by playing on the model of shoes , the shirt , the presence or absence of a tie ... and therefore adapt to all weddings.

The next question that interests us: which costume to choose?

As for the size, cut, interfacing, type of lapel, this question has already been answered.

But if you want to go a little further with a costume that perfectly matches the season and your desires, here is a guide to colors and patterns.

Choose natural materials: cotton, linen, cashmere, wool, silk.

David has written a very good article on this subject.

These style boards should be useful if you are unsure about the color and possibly the pattern of your costume. They are not exhaustive but give a framework and will allow you to fit into the season and adapt to the ceremony.

That's a good start. All well and good, but what next? How do you build the rest of the outfit, exactly?

❌ Bet everything on the colors of the tie. For example, blue suit, white shirt and tie in a bright and sharp color.

Because then you announce that the tie is the predominant element of your outfit, the strong piece and it is the best way to create an imbalance in the outfit. It clashes, it is not harmonious.

The tie here is part of a whole, the colours respond to each other and the shirt serves to provide sufficient contrast, the luminosity without which the whole would fall into blandness.

Choosing the right tie

So, if you have any doubts: choose woven ties, especially with a semi-plain color, rather than printed ties whose pattern could be too visible.

Integrate a pattern into your outfit

A classic pattern in classic colours is a no-brainer. You just have to avoid the tie looking like a caricature of you.

So, a good technique is to link shirt and tie together by playing with color.

Example 1:

Example 2:

Mix two similar patterns together

The key to success: vary the scales! Otherwise, you'll look like a walking optical illusion.

The shirt has stripes that are spaced close together, while the tie has stripes that are spaced much further apart. Also, the navy blue of the tie and the sky blue of the shirt go well together.

Mix two different patterns

The main pitfall when combining two different patterns is that one takes precedence over the other. And we don't really want that if we're looking for harmony.

So, you have to choose the same scale for these two patterns .

I recommend going for a medium scale. Example: a medium striped shirt and a cashmere tie are the same scale.

Then, making it all coherent with colors that respond to each other is a good idea .

Mix three different patterns together

Same principle as before: you have to harmonize with an average scale for the three patterns and similar color contrasts.

Mix three patterns, two of which are similar.

The two patterns of the same nature must be of two different scales and the third pattern must have the same scale as one of them.

This is the best way to put three patterns together I find and it's easier than it looks. For example, this spaced tennis stripe suit, this very close fine striped shirt with a spaced polka dot tie.

We don't recommend going beyond this unless you feel comfortable or have experience. But if you feel like you've learned something from looking at these drawings, then maybe it's better to stay wise and start by putting together two patterns of the same nature, like stripes for example.

For a wedding or any other moment in your life, this episode of Le Bon Look will guide you perfectly because it explains how to combine colors.

However, if we refocus on the event that interests us, I still have one piece of advice: don't try to be original at all costs .

It's a wedding. You have to be dignified and solemn. That doesn't mean boring and sad, it just means that the outfit shouldn't take over the atmosphere of the wedding. A tie that's too flashy has the power to overshadow the bride's smile. An ugly tie is powerful. We don't realize it. So, sobriety is your best ally.

What color for the shirt?

First, I advise you to always have a shirt lighter than your suit and tie . It reassures the eye, we are used to it and it is more natural for the shirt to be lighter under the darker jacket.
If you still want to try a dark shirt, here's how to do it:

Okay, but beyond this first principle, a piece of advice that follows from it: choose a sky blue or white poplin shirt. You don't have to look any further. No need to find a convoluted color that you're not used to seeing.

If we want to dig a little deeper:

• If your face has a high contrast (dark hair and light skin), you should opt for a high contrast in your outfit.
• If your face has low contrast , do the exact opposite: a sky blue shirt with a navy or mid-grey suit will look great. Or a beige suit and an off-white shirt for example. Or like Prince Charles here:

• If it has medium contrast , do whatever you want! Play it like Benoit:

Well, I must also tell you that you should not worry about it too much .

If you are hesitating between several combinations of colors and contrasts, just know this, it will help to ensure that your outfit does not take on more importance than your face.
What we want is to listen to what you have to say, not to rave for hours about your ability to choose clothes based on your skin/hair contrast.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. But you have to act as if it came to you. You'll always get more credit for your style if it's thought to have been given to you than if it's thought to be the result of personal effort.

Besides, I tell you this but every morning, I wake up with an outfit that sticks to my skin for the day and dissolves I don't know how during the night.

The contrast between Renaud's skin and hair is average. We therefore opted for a contrast of the same intensity between the shirt, the suit and the tie. That is to say that if he had worn a white shirt, the very strong contrast would have encroached on his face, since the eye is attracted by the strongest contrasts.

On the other hand, the cover cleverly plays on the tones of blue and brown but the yellow breaks the color reminder that would be too conventional, too coordinated without its presence. So the yellow, however little perceptible to the eye it may be, creates surprise and a certain imbalance, and that is precisely what creates the charm. And therefore the style.

This is an outfit to imitate!

And this contrast of your skin, with your hair is also important for choosing a patterned shirt: the stronger the contrast of your face, the stronger your shirt can be contrasted in its patterns.

I will finish with a little tip: a very good way to combine a shirt and tie is to link them with a monochrome: the sky blue shirt and the navy blue tie ; the pale pink shirt and the burgundy tie; the ecru shirt and the brown tie.

However, maybe you want to go a little further. It's possible: there is medium and light brown, burgundy, eggplant and also cognac.

To help you out a bit more, here is a scale of shoe formalities, depending on the model (oxford or derby) and the color of the shoe.

So, a Richelieu model will always be more formal than a derby model .

This reality may fluctuate slightly depending on the model , but it at least helps you in the color hierarchy.

To be clear:

• A sober suit in cold wool, very formal , is worn with oxfords .

• A more flexible suit, with patch pockets for example, in a less formal wool, making the suit more casual, is worn with derbies (or even loafers as below):

That's it for the model.

Regarding color: If your suit is dark and formal, it is best to avoid opting for light brown or cognac and instead stick to shades of black, dark brown, eggplant or burgundy.

Dressing well means being aware of the level of formality of the pieces paired together.

With a golden rule: avoid having a strong contrast between the pants and the shoes - especially if the shoes are lighter. As long as your pants have a small leg opening and the shoes have been chosen in a slim model and we get the Dingo effect.

You don't want that.

I recommend dark brown or eggplant for your shoes. No matter what your outfit is, it will work.

Certainly black, when it comes to shoes, goes with everything but it implies contrasts that are often poor, without relief, frontal and not very subtle. While dark brown and eggplant are excellent for revealing nuances that are not very visible in the fabrics of the surrounding pieces .

These are colors that reveal others. Rich colors. Example between eggplant and dark blue:

It's best to encourage this "conversation" between the colors of your outfit because it makes the composition more natural, it makes sense and the strings are less visible.

For example, as we have seen, an aubergine or plum-colored Richelieu is exquisite with a navy blue suit. And superb with a gray. All grays.

I do not recommend light brown.

Too casual. With a suit, only your feet will be visible. Unless you have a light suit. But that's quite difficult to master. And it always seems more expected that our feet are darker than our clothes. Or of equal or close intensity. That's how it is. It's like the lighter shirt.

Cognac yes, it's a beautiful color that goes well with blues especially. Brown too. It's often a choice that appeals to the groom by the way. Rightly so, provided you don't have a suit that's too dark or too strong, like this very popular electric blue...

What color for socks?

To put it simply, you have two options:

1. Same color as the shoes.
2. Same color as the pants.

The first option shortens the leg. The second option lengthens it. Both are valid. You can play on this if you are short or tall.

If we want to have a little fun anyway

Don't do it.

It can make you look ridiculous.

And I don't know if you're aware, but at a wedding, there's often a photographer who's just waiting for the wrong angle to take your picture. You'll then forever be the man in the big polka-dot socks.

Here, I'm talking of course about statement socks that we wear to be seen. But the good news is that there are still ways to have fun without falling into caricature : add a (subtle) reminder of color (subtle).

Did I tell you it had to be subtle? Oh yeah, already? Okay.

The kind of color reminder that only a careful eye notices. And that's a good thing. The art of dressing well is not in the demonstration so much as in the suggestion.

It is possible to recall a color from your outfit, but under several conditions:

• Don't let it be a color that clashes with your outfit: if your tie is yellow, is it really wise to choose to recall this already garish color with your socks? Maybe not . On the other hand, if in your tie, there are touches of burgundy for example... then yes, in this case, you can absolutely wear burgundy socks. Because it is a more discreet color and one that we are more used to seeing.
• That this does not concern two very visible pieces of your outfit : if you wear short pants, the socks are very visible, the tie too, the shirt less, the suit of course. The pocket square, it is to be seen according to how you wear it. A clever color reminder to do is that your pocket square is the same color as the shirt or that it integrates in its design the dominant color of the latter. The pocket square/tie color reminder is welcome of course but be careful, it is easy to go too far. A simple technique is to choose a white pocket square with a colored border that corresponds to one of the non-dominant colors present in your tie.
• And it is better if it concerns two pieces of different nature , that is to say an accessory and a piece: for example shirt + pocket square; suit + tie; shoes + socks.

Here again, making reminders that are too flashy is going overboard and is a style killer. At least as style killer as the color black in a wedding outfit.

Recently my father asked me to find him a suit for my brother's wedding, suggesting something sober, "like black for example".

Being the unworthy son that I am, I ignored his remark about black. Without batting an eyelid.

And this, for several reasons:

1. Black makes the face look dull
2. Black accentuates gray hair
3. Black doesn't go with anything, except black, gray or white
4. A tired black fabric looks cheap
5. It's a party , dammit!
6. Because life is beautiful
7. A whole bunch of other reasons of undeniable relevance.

That said, I understand if you want to wear black...

Already because of the luxury advertisements with the Eiffel Tower in the background, we all ended up believing that "black" was synonymous with "absolute class". And because it is a neutral, modest color, perfect if you don't want to be noticed too much.

It's true.

Except that it is also the color that we wear for funerals and therefore which is strongly linked to mourning.

Marriage is a time of joy. That's reason enough not to wear one to a wedding, don't you think?

Moreover, it is also a color that we associate with service professions and we understand why.

The only exception that could be allowed would be a black tie wedding, where dinner and the evening would be spent in tuxedos, as can be seen in the United States. But this would be specified on the wedding invitation. And, besides, it would only concern the evening.

Want to be sober? It's all to your credit: wear dark blue or charcoal gray. In addition to being sober, it will show you off much better.

No.

Even if you wear it with as much class as Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby .

Unless of course it's the imposed dress code, it's happening on the beach, it's bohemian... Otherwise, it's reserved for the bride.

You should wear the bow tie like you wear a tie and make sure it fits harmoniously into your outfit.

There you have it. But it doesn't really say how to do it.

You should know that the bow tie has an unfortunate tendency to disguise its wearer and I invite you to read the first two parts of this article . It talks about ties, I know, but the approach must be the same.

And so, it makes me think: wearing the bow tie untied on your shoulders, like Arthur in the end-of-year shows, is not at all casual or cool. It makes you look like the guy who really tried too hard.

Otherwise, to wear a bow tie to a wedding:

• Don't overdo it with color and patterns
• Don't match it to your cover
• Wear a jacket with
• Choose a bow tie whose total width does not exceed the width between your two eyes: very important to avoid looking like you came out of the 70s.
• Choosing the right shirt collar (by the way, avoid the wing collar, unless you are wearing a tuxedo)

But with suspenders?

I'm going to say it right away (and I'm not talking to everyone when I write this): do not wear a pair of suspenders with a belt.

Well, that would be really cute but that's not the point!

That's because suspenders and belts share the same function: holding up your pants. If you don't trust your pants that much, maybe you have a little bit of a let-go problem and should seek help.

Anyway, back to the suspenders/bow tie combo.

You thought it was the perfect outfit for that country wedding: a bow tie and suspenders worn with rolled-up chinos and a shirt.

After all, it's a casual wedding. No hassle. And the suspenders/bow tie combo has proven itself on Pinterest.

Yes, but what is a pair of suspenders for? To hold up your pants. Now, I bet that wasn't what you intended this accessory for first—to hold up your pants—but that you saw it as something aesthetic. The extra thing.

That's exactly what's wrong.

Because then, these straps fall into the gadget accessory and that kills the style.

On the other hand, combined with the pre-tied bow tie, it falls into the category of panoply and disguises you , caricatures you.

And besides, the little metal clips that bite into the belt of your pants have something childish about them, don't you think?

Okay, so is there a way to wear the suspenders/bow tie combo right? Yes, but you're not going to like it...

Several basic conditions, in my opinion:

• Have pants with buttons designed for wearing suspenders inside the waistband
• Have high waisted pants
• Choose a bow tie that you tied yourself (even if it was a long time ago)
• Wear a jacket .

They are a bit vulgar since they are functional in essence. This is the opposite status to the purely decorative tie and bow tie.

The strap looks great when, standing, you casually put your fist on your hip, throwing it behind your jacket and then it is seen, its color resonating with the rest of your outfit.

Yes, but sober ones, whose brilliance does not jump out at you.

The same goes for the watch. You should match the color of the strap to your shoes and belt if you wear them. Obviously, big, flashy watches have no place at a wedding. And I ask the question: do they have a place anywhere at all?

• If you wear a suit vest: no belt underneath, it weighs down the silhouette. If your pants are the right size, they will not fall down.
• Your jacket: when you are standing, always button the top button but not the bottom one.
• The last button of the vest (at the bottom) should not be buttoned, to give you more freedom of movement and to have the feeling of being comfortable in your clothes.
• The jacket should cover your buttocks. Completely, that's classic. If not, at least half or three-quarters of your buttocks. Nothing more ridiculous than a jacket that's too short
• How to tie your bow tie?
• Shoes: how to make them shine?
• How to fold your pocket?