The wedding guide: how to pull off your outfit (1/4)

This first article on marriage is for everyone, regardless of your role in the marriage(s) that await you. Its purpose is to put things straight.

Others are there to look more specifically at the role of each person: groom , witness/father of the groom and if you are invited , then this is where it happens .

A little taste of what you will find in this topic:

• What color and/or pattern of suit to choose depending on the season?
• How to match several patterns?
• What shoe colors to choose?
• How to wear a bow tie correctly?
• Can you wear black to a wedding?

And other questions that I found here and there in the comments or that David brought back to me. You will find the brands we recommend in the various links made available to you throughout the text.

I insist: in other articles, I will come back to the particulars of the witness, the father of the groom, the guest and the groom. This will be an opportunity to question the wearing of the electric blue suit for the groom and to know whether, yes or not, you can wear white sneakers to a wedding .

For now, I want to ask this question, as a basis for all future wedding articles: what is the difference between “looking well dressed” and “being well dressed” ?

Yes, yes, it is linked and it is even fundamental.

A wedding, whatever your role, is always an opportunity to show yourself in your best light. So let's go ? Do you have a few minutes to spare?

Let's go.

Make no mistake: it is impossible to wear sneaker jeans every day, only look at style issues from afar and become, overnight, a master of formal elegance. This is a statement without any value judgement.

He who can do more can do less.

But who can do the least...can only do the least.

Because clothing is not a science and the causes do not always produce the same effects. “Class” is not due to each person who puts on a suit. What I mean by this is that style is not the result of layering stylish pieces. That would be too easy.

You have to keep a cool head, moderate your enthusiasm and put down that sky blue suit... At first anyway.

Because clothing is more art than science. Minor art, I agree, but still: this presupposes, in addition to strict technical mastery (knowing its morphology, which materials produce which effects etc.), certain intuitions which are formed with time and experience.

For example, if you've never worn a bow tie or suspenders in your life, maybe you won't get it right the first time. Surely, even, you will fail and fall into disguise and caricature.

Disguise is the opposite of style.

We often see at weddings guests dressed as guests, witnesses dressed as best men, and bride and groom dressed as grooms.

And when it's 3 a.m. and we're dancing, we don't really care, it's true. However, when we are sitting idly in the audience and thousands of eyes are on us, then it is obvious that something is wrong. Well, not in everyone's eyes because after all: "it looks classy".

And that's the problem.

Accumulating style elements considered as part of the groom's outfit, for example , comes down to "being well dressed".

And wearing a tie and its matching pocket square is part of this same logic of outfit and not of style. Too much affectation.

"Being well dressed" means constructing your outfit according to the climatic conditions, the degree of formality of the event you are attending, your physical characteristics and being comfortable with your clothes - that is to say, comfortable in the first sense of the term and then also in the sense of being in phase with the image that they send of us.

Here's someone who seems comfortable in their clothes:

Go for what seems natural: in tones, in proportions (ridiculously small or too large lapels are a fashion bias, however lapels that reach the middle of the shoulder will seem more natural, like the photograph below above), in the materials depending on the season etc.

The problem is often those around you who will not have as keen a vision as yours and will often advise you badly while wanting to do well. And it's no one's fault. However, take a step back: if someone tells you “that looks classy”, use your critical sense. It's probably because you look disguised, although the person who told you this doesn't think anything bad about it or realize it.

Yes, I know it's a bit long and you came for practice so here I come. But it was important.

No secret, you should wear a suit.

Straight (i.e. not crossed), with two buttons.

We will refine it in the following articles but really... you should wear a suit .

Besides, if you're not wearing a suit to this event, when are you going to wear one?

4 reasons to wear a suit to a wedding:

1. A costume because it is a sign of respect towards the union you are coming to celebrate (even more so if it is yours)
2. A suit to highlight your sense of propriety, your discreet elegance and your humility
3. A suit because it is very easy to be well dressed in a suit
4. A suit because the last thing expected of you at a wedding is to create a surprise.

But that's not all !

Because, from this universal base, a neutral springboard for your expression, you will be able to move the cursor of formality by playing on the model of shoes , the shirt , the presence or absence of a tie ... and therefore adapt to all the marriages.

The question that interests us next: which costume to choose?

Regarding the size, cut, interfacing, type of cuff, we have already answered this question well.

But if you want to go a little further with a costume that perfectly matches the season and your desires, here is a guide to colors and patterns.

Opt for natural materials: cotton, linen, cashmere, wool, silk.

David also wrote a very good article on this subject.

These style boards should be useful to you if you are unsure about the color and possibly the pattern of your suit. They are not exhaustive but provide a framework and will allow you to register for the season and adapt to the ceremony.

It's a good start. Very good, but then? How exactly do you construct the rest of the outfit?

❌ Focus everything on the colors of the tie. Example blue suit, white shirt and tie in a bright, sharp color.

Because then you announce that the tie is the predominant element of your outfit, the strong piece and it is the best way to create an imbalance in the outfit. It clashes, it's not harmonious.

The tie here is part of a whole, the colors respond to each other and the shirt serves to provide sufficient contrast, the brightness without which the whole thing would fall into dullness.

Choose your tie wisely

So, if you have doubts: choose woven ties, especially with a faux-plain color, rather than printed ties whose pattern could be too visible.

Integrate a pattern into your outfit

A classic pattern in classic colors is easy to put on. You simply need to avoid the tie caricature you.

So, a good technique is to link shirt and tie together using color.

Example 1:

Example 2:

Mix two similar patterns together

The key to success: you have to vary the scales! Otherwise, we look like a walking optical illusion.

The shirt has stripes spaced closely together, while the tie has stripes spaced much further apart. Plus, the navy blue of the tie and the sky blue of the shirt go well together.

Mix two different patterns

The main pitfall when combining two different patterns is that one takes precedence over the other. And we don't really want that if we're looking for harmony.

Therefore, you must choose the same scale for these two reasons .

I advise opting for a medium scale. Example: medium striped shirt and cashmere tie are on the same scale.

Then, making everything coherent with colors that match each other is a good idea .

Mix three different patterns together

Same principle as before: you must harmonize with an average scale for the three patterns and similar color contrasts.

Mix three patterns, two of which are similar

The two patterns of the same nature must be of two different scales and the third pattern must have the same scale as one of them.

This is the best way to put three patterns together in my opinion and it's easier than it seems. For example, this suit with spaced tennis stripes, this fine striped shirt very close together with a tie with spaced polka dots.

We do not advise you to go beyond this, unless you feel comfortable doing so or have experience. But if you feel like you've learned something from looking at these designs, then perhaps it's best to be wise and start by putting together two patterns of the same nature, like stripes for example.

For a wedding or any other moment in your life, this episode of Bon Look will guide you perfectly because it explains how to combine colors.

However, if we refocus on the event that interests us, I still have one piece of advice: don't try to be original at all costs .

It's a marriage. We must be dignified and solemn. This doesn't mean boring and sad, it just means that the outfit shouldn't take precedence over the atmosphere of the wedding. A tie that is too garish has the power to eclipse the bride's smile. It's powerful, an ugly tie. We don't realize it. So, sobriety is your best ally.

What color for the shirt?

First, I advise you to always have a shirt lighter than your suit and tie . It reassures the eye, we are used to it and it is more natural for the shirt to be lighter under the darker jacket.
If you still want to try a dark shirt, here's how to do it:

Good, but beyond this first principle, a piece of advice that follows: choose a poplin shirt sky blue or white . You don't have to look any further. No need to find a convoluted color that you're not used to seeing.

If we want to dig a little deeper:

• If your face has a strong contrast (dark hair and light skin), you should opt for a strong contrast in your outfit.
• If your face has low contrast , do the exact opposite: a sky blue shirt with a navy or medium gray suit will look great. Or a beige suit and an off-white shirt for example. Or like Prince Charles here:

• If it has average contrast , do whatever you want! Play it like Benoît:

Well, I also have to tell you that you shouldn't worry too much about it .

If you are hesitating between several combinations of colors and contrasts, just know, this will help ensure that your outfit does not take on more importance than your face.
What we want is to listen to what you have to say, not to rave for hours about your ability to choose clothes based on your skin/hair contrast.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. But you have to act as if it came to you like that. You will always be given more credit for your style if you think it was given to you than if you think it was your own work.

Besides, I tell you this but I wake up every morning with an outfit that sticks to my skin for the day and somehow dissolves during the night.

The contrast between Renaud's skin and hair is average. We therefore opted for a contrast of the same intensity between the shirt, the suit and the tie. That is to say, if he had worn a white shirt, the very strong contrast would have encroached on his face, since the eye is attracted by the strongest contrasts.

On the other hand, the cover cleverly plays on the tones of blue and brown but the yellow breaks the reminder of color which would be too conventional, too coordinated without its presence. So yellow, however barely perceptible to the eye, creates surprise and a certain imbalance, and this is precisely what creates charm. And so the style.

This is an outfit to imitate!

And this contrast of your skin with your hair is also important when choosing a patterned shirt: the stronger the contrast of your face, the stronger your shirt can be contrasted in its patterns.

I would end with a little tip: a very good way to combine shirt and tie is to link them with a monochrome: the sky blue shirt and the navy blue tie ; the pale pink shirt and burgundy tie; the ecru shirt and the brown tie.

However, perhaps you want to go a little further. It's possible: there is medium brown and light, burgundy, eggplant and also cognac.

To guide you a little more, here is a scale of shoe formalities, depending on the model (oxford or derby) and color.

Thus, a brogue model will always be more formal than a derby model .

This reality may fluctuate slightly depending on model , but it at least helps you with the color hierarchy.

To be clear :

• A sober suit in cold wool, very formal , is worn with brogues .

• A softer suit, with patch pockets for example, in a less formal wool, making the suit more casual, is best worn with derbies (or even moccasins as below):

That's it for the model.

Regarding color: if your suit is dark and formal, it is better to avoid opting for light brown or cognac and instead stick to shades of black, dark brown, eggplant or burgundy.

Dressing well means being aware of the level of formality of the pieces associated with each other.

With a golden rule: avoid having a strong contrast between the pants and the shoes - especially if the shoes are lighter. As long as your pants have a narrow leg opening and the shoes have been chosen in a slim model, you get the Goofy effect.

You don't want that.

I recommend dark brown or aubergine for your shoes. No matter your outfit, it will work.

Certainly black, when it comes to shoes, goes with everything but it often involves poor contrasts, without relief, frontal and not very subtle. While dark brown and eggplant are excellent for revealing barely visible shades in the fabrics of surrounding rooms .

These are colors that reveal others. Rich colors. Example between eggplant and dark blue:

It's preferable to encourage this "conversation" between the colors of your outfit because it makes the composition more natural, it's obvious and you can see the strings less.

For example, as we have seen, an eggplant or plum brogue is exquisite with a navy blue suit. And superb with a gray. All grays.

I don't recommend light brown.

Too casual. With a suit, you'll only see your feet. Unless you have a light suit. But it's quite difficult to master. And it always seems more expected that our feet are darker than our clothes. Or of equal or close intensity. It's like that. It's like the lighter shirt.

Cognac yes, it's a beautiful color that goes well with blues especially. Brown too. It’s often a choice that appeals to the groom. Rightly so, as long as you don't have a suit that is too dark or too strong, like this very popular electric blue...

What color for the socks?

To put it simply, two options are available to you:

1. Same color as the shoes.
2. Same color as the pants.

The first option shortens the leg. The second option lengthens it. Both are valid. You can play on this whether you are small or tall.

If we want to have a little fun anyway

Don't do it.

It can make you look ridiculous.

And I don't know if you know, but in a wedding, there is often a photographer who is just waiting for the unfavorable angle to take your picture. You will then forever be the man with the big polka dot socks.

Here, I am of course talking about the statement socks that we wear so that they are seen. But good news, there are still ways to have fun without falling into caricature : make a (subtle) reminder of (subtle) color.

Did I tell you it had to be subtle? Oh yes, already? Good.

The kind of color reminder that only an attentive eye notices. And that's good. The art of dressing well is not in demonstration so much as in suggestion.

Recalling a color from your outfit is possible but under several conditions:

• Don't let it be a color that clashes with your outfit: if your tie is yellow, is it really wise to choose to echo this already garish color with your socks? Maybe not . On the other hand, if in your tie there are touches of burgundy for example... then yes, in this case, you can absolutely wear burgundy socks. Because it’s a more discreet color and one that we’re more used to seeing.
• This does not concern two very visible pieces of your outfit : if you wear short pants, the socks are clearly visible, the tie too, the shirt less so, the suit of course. The cover depends on how you wear it. A clever color reminder to make is that your pocket square is the same color as the shirt or that it integrates the dominant color of the shirt into its design. The reminder of pocket/tie color is welcome of course but be careful, it is easy to go too far. A simple technique is to choose a white pocket square with a colored border that matches one of the non-dominant colors present in your tie.
• And it's better if it concerns two pieces of different nature , that is to say an accessory and a piece: for example shirt + pocket square; suit + tie; shoes + socks.

Here again, making reminders that are too flashy means adding to the panoply and it's a style-killer. At least as stylish as the color black in a wedding outfit.

Recently my father asked me to find him a suit for my brother's wedding, suggesting something sober, "like black for example".

Being the unworthy son that I am, I ignored his remark about black. Without a frown.

And this for many reasons :

1. Black makes the face dull
2. Black accentuates the gray of the hair
3. Black doesn't go with anything, only with black, gray or white
4. A tired black fabric looks cheap
5. It's a hell of a party!
6. Because life is beautiful
7. A whole bunch of other reasons of unstoppable relevance.

That said, I understand you if you want to wear black...

Already because through luxury advertisements with the Eiffel Tower in the background, we all ended up believing that “black” was synonymous with “absolute class”. And because it's a neutral, modest color, perfect if you don't want to stand out too much.

It's true.

Except that it is also the color that we wear for funerals and therefore is strongly linked to mourning.

Marriage is a moment of joy. That's reason enough not to wear one to a wedding, don't you think?

In addition, it is also a color that we associate with service professions and we understand why.

The only exception that we can admit would be a black tie wedding, where the dinner and the evening would be spent in a tuxedo, as we can see in the United States. But this would be specified on the wedding invitation. And, besides, this would only concern the evening.

Do you want to be sober? It's to your credit: wear dark blue or charcoal gray. In addition to being sober, it will make you look much better.

No.

Even if you wear it with as much class as Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby .

Unless of course it's the imposed dress code, it's happening on the beach, it's bohemian... Otherwise, it's reserved for the bride.

You must wear the bow tie as you wear the tie and that it fits harmoniously into your outfit.

That's it, it's said. But it doesn't really say how to do it.

You should know that the bow tie has an unfortunate tendency to disguise its wearer and I invite you to read the first two parts of this article . He's talking about ties, I know, but the approach must be the same.

And so, it makes me think: wearing a bow tie untied on the shoulders, Arthur style in end-of-year shows, is neither casual nor cool. It makes you look like the guy who really tried too hard.

Otherwise, to wear a bow tie to a wedding:

• Don't overdo it on color and patterns
• Don't match it especially to your cover
• Wear a jacket with
• Choose a bow tie whose total width does not exceed that between your two eyes: very important so as not to look like you came out of the 70s
• Choosing the right shirt collar (also avoid wing collars, unless you are wearing a tuxedo)

But with suspenders?

I'll say it right now (and I'm not speaking to everyone by writing this): don't wear a pair of suspenders with a belt.

Well, that would be really adorable but that's not the point!

This is because the suspenders and the belt share the same function: to hold your pants. If you don't trust your pants that much, maybe you have a little problem letting go and should be consulted.

Anyway, back to the suspenders/bow tie combo.

You thought it was the perfect outfit for this country wedding: a bow tie and suspenders worn with rolled-up chinos and a shirt.

After all, it's a cool wedding. No fuss. And the suspenders/bow tie combo has still proven itself on Pinterest.

Yes, only, what is a pair of suspenders for? To hold his pants. Now, I bet that this was not what you intended this accessory for — holding your pants — but that you saw it as something aesthetic. The extra thing.

That's exactly what's wrong.

Because then, these straps fall into the gadget accessory and that kills the style.

On the other hand, combined with the pre-tied bow tie, this enters the category of panoply and it disguises you , caricatures you.

And besides, there's something childish about the little metal clips that bite the waistband of your pants, don't you think?

Okay, so is there a way to wear the suspenders/bow tie combo correctly? Yes, but you won't like it...

Several basic conditions, in my opinion:

• Have pants with buttons provided for wearing suspenders inside the waistband
• Have high-waisted pants
• Choose a bow tie that you tied yourself (even if it was a long time ago)
• Wear a jacket .

They are a bit vulgar since they are functional in essence. This is the opposite status to the purely decorative tie and bow tie.

The strap is beautiful when, standing up, you casually put your fist on your hip, throwing your jacket behind it and then we see it, its color resonates with the rest of your outfit.

Yes, but sober ones, whose brilliance does not jump in your face.

It's the same thing for the watch. You should match the color of the bracelet to your shoes and belt if you wear them. Obviously, big, zealous watches have no place at a wedding. And I ask the question: do they have a place anywhere at all?

• If you wear a suit vest: no belt underneath, it weighs down the silhouette. If your pants are the right size, they won't fall down.
• Your jacket: when you are standing, always button the top button but not the bottom one
• The last button of the vest (at the bottom) should not be buttoned, to give you more freedom of movement and to make you feel comfortable in your clothes.
• The jacket should cover your buttocks. Absolutely, it's classic. Otherwise at least half or three quarters of your buttocks. Nothing more ridiculous than a jacket that's too short
• How to tie your bow tie?
• Shoes: how to make them shine?
• How to fold your pocket?