It's 4 a.m. Voices echo beneath my windows. We are once again allowed to fill the night with our party screams.
But no street for me. I am under house arrest. And it wasn't Castex who said it.
I occupy the living room sofa in the dark. I do not watch television. I do not read. I don't listen to music. I'm dozing but I'm not going to bed.
Because I have a hungry baby hanging on my arm. She stares at me with her big black eyes while she downs her 4-hour bottle.
As she has just finished, I place her on the changing table. As I removed her barely soiled diaper, she chose that moment to vent. An oil tanker on the edge of a coast. And the coast is me.
Good thing I'm not wearing nice silk pajamas. I sleep in a t-shirt; as shameful or rotten as possible. If it has holes, that's better. It's breathable.
The one I wore that night was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He ends his sad life in the trash. Bye-bye Monoprix t-shirt bought at least seven years ago! You can be proud of yourself, you will have served me with honor.
On the one hand, she's doing me a favor, this little one. She makes me sort through my clothes. And it starts with my nightwear. Either way, it’s an organization like any other.
As I'm thinking about this, she has hiccups, the hiccups cause her to regurgitate, which causes her to have a violent existential crisis consisting of tears, freaking breath-holding sobs, and scratching her face.
In the arms, lullaby, rocking movement, there, there, reassures, reassures, chuuuuuuuuuuut, chuuuuuuuuuuuut, everything is fine. I don't plan on going anywhere anyway.
She calms down and I think about my t-shirt in the trash.
It's decided, tomorrow I'll write about fashion and fatherhood. I know, there are fathers among our readers. If that might be of interest. Or failing that, if it can revive memories.
A noise pulls me out of my reverie: she has fallen knocked out on my arm and is snoring like a French bulldog.
Paternity and clothing budget
It's all me to have had a child during the sales.
When she was born, I spent an hour saying goodbye to all the clothes selected in my wishlist . Farewell ! Little angels gone too soon! We don't know each other and we probably never will. But my love for you was sincere.
Because we can turn things in any direction. My clothing budget took a big hit.
Having a child costs money and I wasn't exactly a model of a good financial manager.
Brief. My little financial routine as I knew it is dead.
I'm not complaining, I chose it and knew it.
But from now on, I have to deal with all this new data. I would also have to do my accounts, just to know exactly how much margin I have left for clothes. It should be yes. But anyway I know it's not much.
So I indulged myself one last time, as if to seal this new pact I was making with myself. Like a smoker who knows he's smoking his last cigarette, I bought an item of clothing that was too expensive for my new lifestyle.
Cotton voile stockings with Camoshita pattern - Beige Habilleur
Spoiler alert : I'll probably send it back because I'm not convinced by the cut. That being said, I say this even though I put it on for half a second between two activities.
Spoiler alert : I'm keeping it! I did another fitting after writing the lines above and it was validated. Not on the street. But it's validated. Bordeaux, you just have to behave.
All this to say that the theory according to which if you have a doubt when trying on, it means that it is wrong is not infallible .
I took it from Nitty Gritty (it was cheaper than from Beige ) but it was the last one I believe. It is no longer there.
I can see myself walking around Bordeaux with these pants on, a loose white t-shirt, a blazer and aubergine loafers. Oh yes, and a stroller, a baby, a diaper bag, a blanket, a pacifier and so on.
My outfits on Instagram will become somewhat denser.
But that's not the point!
In fact, if my clothing budget is reduced, it is not reduced to zero either. I will always have the opportunity to buy clothes,
My priorities have changed.
My new strategy is to only buy on Vinted , Leboncoin , Ebay etc. and in thrift stores. Second-hand goods , of which I was already a particular customer, are becoming my main mode of consuming clothes and buying new is the exception.
My daughter pushes me to consume even more responsibly. Since on the one hand, it reduces it and on the other hand, it orients it differently. My daughter is an activist.
But there is another thing: the budget that I usually allocated to clothes, today I want to put it elsewhere .
And it is with this in mind that I have been saving since the start of the pregnancy to buy myself a new camera. Because I want to see my wardrobes filled with photo albums more than with clothes.
It takes up less space. Good news.
For those interested, it's this one:
It's a Fujifilm x100v with a fixed 23mm (35mm equivalent) lens .
Not yet received. I'm eager to.
I took it because it was compact, I could bring it everywhere, including when traveling, so it's perfect to make it like an extension of me, to pull out quickly.
But, as Benoît would say, “let’s talk clothes”. I would be delighted to “talk photos” but this is not the place. Unless... That gives me an idea! Brief.
The fact that I organize my budget differently doesn't mean that I want to cut corners on style. Never. And even, more than ever, I want to be that dad who has style and who will have taught his daughter to develop her personal taste.
And for that, I have to lead by example, right?
Paternity and clothing style
Those who know me and know what job I do have all asked me the same question: “so, are you going to change your clothes?”
And the more technical ones go further: “are you going to use Gore-Tex?”
To these I answer “no”. I prefer to live dangerously. So far my strategy, that of avoidance or otherwise called "the sidestep technique", has worked rather well.
Using technical clothing to protect against regurgitation and other jets seems a little annoying for my daughter. And if my partner is next to me at the fateful moment, it risks ricocheting off the powerful Gore-Tex and landing on her.
The word "Gore-Tex" would take on a whole new meaning...
Well, the avoidance strategy generally works. Sometimes there are failures.
The face of joy of living and personal development.
This is the state of my Corridor shirt (which I love so much) after my daughter (whom I love so much) took care of it.
We notice that she aimed well. Right next to the yellow diaper.
Good news, it doesn't stain. I'm looking forward to diversification, just to become an expert once and for all in clothing care.
"What? A laughing cow stain? Fastoche! You scrub with kumquat powder while singing the Marseillaise of course!"
"What? A chocolate tomato stain? Nothing could be easier, you cut the stain out with scissors and sew a patch on it."
I feel like I will develop new skills.
Either that or I'm going to become a Zen master. Or both.
AC/DC..... dice.
See things with detachment
Well, if it's the baby's fault, but hey, it seems that they are not really responsible for their actions. Although I saw a slight smile on my daughter's mouth after regurgitation. Coincidence or demonic spirit in an infant's body, frankly my heart is swinging.
Accepting therefore seems better for everyone . And maybe avoid giving her a bottle or changing her into your custom suit.
So how do we dress exactly?
Fatherhood and the ideal wardrobe
As is often said , the ideal wardrobe is a myth . Let's say that there can be no ONE ideal wardrobe. It depends on where you are in your quest for style, your daily life, your tastes and your budget.
As a young father, however, I will put forward a few elements that seem important to me:
- Comfort, more than ever. I don't really see myself taking care of my daughter with new 18oz jeans or even shoes that need to be made. You have to be able to be agile. The good reflex that avoids falling. And so, more than ever in my purchases, I will favor a certain scale.
- Materials that are not too fragile. Yes of course, because probably my clothes will be subjected to a severe test. So maybe don't wear that delicate cashmere or wild silk or whatever when taking care of the baby.
- This is linked to the previous point: you need clothes that go in the machine without problem . When we have free time, we want to do something other than wash a bunch of clothes by hand.
- Clothes with character . Yes because outfits are getting simpler. I don't really have time (at the moment) to go through my wardrobe 5 times wondering what new things I can do this morning! So you need something efficient, something beautiful, something stylish, panache of course, always, but a panache that can simply be activated.
My main outfit for the next few months
- Levi's 501 vintage wash jeans with thigh comfort. I'm currently looking for one with even more comfort. Maybe just take a size larger.
- A white t-shirt ( Bronson MFG ) or gray or another color, because it's easy to maintain and if I have to carry heavy things, I'm immediately comfortable. And it's not very expensive, so if there were to be accidents, I wouldn't be too upset.
- To go out, a jacket ( Beams+ ) with pockets . The pacifier jumps, the diaper bag is not accessible, we stuff it in the pocket. And then a jacket can be removed in no time in case of heatstroke.
- Comfortable moccasins ( GH Bass & Co ) or tennis shoes like Vans , Asahi , Doek . This type of moccasin is as comfortable as tennis shoes. And their advantage is that they are easy to remove. We have the baby in our arms, we go home, we sit on the sofa, no need for hands, we are already without our shoes.
- The necklace is for pleasure. This is Borali 's last drop . Very successful ! For now, I can afford to still wear them. The day she gets mischievous and wants to strangle me with it, I'll probably leave it in the closet.
- The cap ( Berg&Berg ) for fun too. It looks cool dad of course, but it allows you to add personality to the look and above all to avoid having hair in your eyes. I assure you it makes a difference when your hands are full.
Variant 1
We swap the blazer for a denim jacket, the jeans become wide chinos and the loafers become tennis shoes.
Simple, straight to the point and comfortable.
Variant 2
Just replace the blazer with a shirt. To echo the elements that I stated above about the ideal wardrobe, you should choose shirts that look good even when they are not ironed:
- Oxford
- Denim
- Chambray
- Corduroy
- ...
Here my shirt was not ironed for example. But since it's an Oxford, it fits well.
Yes, those evenings where you took the time to watch the Sunday movie are gone. No more time to do that. There is always the solution of dropping off the clothes at the dry cleaner but it is a budget and the dry cleaner must be nearby.
So !
This is what I can say about it at this stage. This view of authorship and style is subject to change of course. It will change as my daughter grows. The issues will not be the same.
And then, even in this context, we must not forget to have fun with the clothes , to have fun with them. As I often say, creativity can come from constraint. The constraints are there, we know them. So it's time to be creative, to explore new stylistic avenues.
Next time, I will teach you how to reconcile love of sport with TV
