Recently, a reader told me that he wanted to buy a coat from a good brand that he really fell in love with. But the price seemed high to him even though the buttons were plastic... I advised him to try the piece, to see.
He gave me his feedback: the piece is beautiful, and it really suits him. But it does not fall just on the shoulder break, as is explained in the rules of the art.
Yes, the brand in question runs large on certain pieces because it has a real streetwear influence. But above all, if the piece suits it well, why ask this question?
I think I found myself facing a typical case of overthinking .
At BonneGueule, overthink is that moment when you think too much. You worry about details that appear more and more important to you as they occupy your mind.
“Isn’t my lapel half an inch too wide?”
When you wonder if you're thinking too much, it's already too late!
Some people take these types of questions very seriously, and I was surprised to see that it could sometimes become really anxiety-inducing. So it’s time to do a little cleaning up with all that!
Overthinking: where does it come from?
Overthinking , from what I have been able to conclude, mainly comes from two things:
- a lack of trying on clothes without buying,
- an attempt at extreme rationalization.
Why is it so important to try without buying? Quite simply because most of the time, it answers your questions in a concrete way.
It's by trying on a pair of ankle boots that you'll see if you like the style. It is by trying two different colored stitches that you will see which one suits you best (and you like the most). So, try, try, and try again!
Therefore, when a beginner does not have concrete answers (from testing), he tries to find them by rationalizing to the extreme.
The precise height of a sole or the leg opening to the nearest millimeter of a pair of jeans should not become inevitable purchasing criteria.
Dressing should above all remain a pleasure
Certainly, it's a bit of a catchphrase to say like that, but it's so true that it's obligatory to remember it.
Never forget what I talked about a lot:
Men's fashion is not meant to be a hassle.
Frame this sentence and hang it on your closet door.
If you ever have doubts that are too present in your approach to men's fashion, it's because you're on the wrong track. In other words, don't entertain questions without answers!
If putting together an outfit is not a pleasure for you, and it even becomes a source of anxiety and existential questions, there is clearly something wrong.
So do me a favor, insist that every moment in contact with a piece of clothing includes pleasure. This alone will keep you away from overthinking forever!
Don't hesitate to come into a store to look, touch, ask for advice, and above all try!
Get away from a vision that is too theoretical and far from reality
I will take a concrete case, which often happens when we read a lot of precise and detailed articles.
You want to choose a pair of shoes and you've read a lot about different shoe constructions, stitching, leather quality, etc.
Problem: when you arrive at the store, you realize that the assembly is very clean, that the seams are good but nothing more. Whereas you learned that they should be very fine and regular in the optimal case.
And there, you see that the leather has a very small imperfection even though you read that it should be perfectly uniform. You then say to yourself:
"Should I take them or not? On the one hand, they look great, but on the other... This little crease... And here, this seam is a little rough..."
There you are, here you are in the middle of overthinking .
In fact, the problem with advanced theoretical knowledge is that it (wrongly) gives you a utopian and sanitized vision of men's fashion, where the slightest imperfection is disappointing and must be banned.
The leather is not entirely uniform across the entire upper, yet this pair is very beautiful and of completely acceptable quality.
I see your answer coming:
But say, it's not you who talks to us all the time about the quality of materials, about manufacturing, and who wants to pass on to us the taste for well-made things? It's a bit like saying one thing and its opposite, right?
Absolutely not ! We are also not telling you "beautiful smooth and uniform leather is uninteresting, buy cheap", or "you don't have to worry about wobbly tailoring".
The aim is above all to make you put things into perspective remembering that a choice is also made in relation to contextual, subjective elements. Elements that meet everyone's needs and desires, and not just an "absolute value".
Example: you want a pair that would fit very well into a somewhat adventurous look, that has a raw appearance, or even a little damaged... Well, in this specific case, a leather of a little less good quality
And the good news is that it's (usually) cheaper than the kind of "perfect leather" you were thinking of. If it also has a nice creative bias, difficult to find in a brand that makes “classic” shoes, and it seems sturdy to you, why bother?
Do you really need the brand to have used top-quality full-grain calfskin, with a smooth and perfect vegetable tan, and then sanded it, dirtied it and finally gave it a worn look?
Or to necessarily have perfectly straight, tightened and aligned seams on a pair that you want to wear with completely casual clothes anyway?
I think not!
Don't forget that to design clothes without selling them at a luxury price, just like to buy them, you need an essential asset: the art of compromise!
This very smooth vision of clothing is out of step with a reality which includes roughness, nuances and yes, sometimes a few folds.
Overthink and high-end pieces: the power of photos
Be careful: a photo can be misleading in terms of texture, proportions, cut or material. It may appear that a coat has volume in the back when that is not the case. And don't forget that clothing moves! It follows the movements of its wearer and you can't see that in a photo.
In practice, we should not seek zero creases. Just because a jacket isn't the best fitted in the world doesn't mean it's bad.
Let’s be clear, there are indeed jackets with zero pleats; shoes perfectly molded to your feet; shirts cut according to your most specific requirements, with top quality mother-of-pearl buttons, extremely fine seams and very tight stitches... It 's called luxury tailor-made and it costs very expensive. There you can afford to be so demanding.
Otherwise, don't lock yourself into a sanitized and perfect vision of men's fashion because it is an insidious path towards overthinking .
Benoit has a lot of compliments on this costume. However, you can observe some folds in the jacket. For pants, it's mainly linked to movement.
Classic cases of overthink
Certainly, certainly. However, when you want to learn how to find your style, there are still some essential things to know, right? What is the line between essential knowledge and overthink?
Good question !
For two years, I have held the role of Community Manager at BonneGueule, and I answer all your style and shopping questions.
And to give you a concrete answer, I suggest that we go into detail about some of the most recurring cases where overthinking is in full swing. I hope this will allow you to take a step back on these specific questions.
Make value for money an obsession
I think this is the case we see the most every day: looking for the best quality/price ratio possible at all costs! The mistake ? Forget that we also buy a cut, a style and that there are other types of added value on a piece.
I sometimes feel like doing this is like looking for the best deal possible while forgetting what you really love.
Typically, this black Burton blazer offers very good value for money: beautiful Italian material, made in Europe and for just 200 euros. But one could criticize it for being a little boring...
Some even go so far as to calculate “the cost of a part per number of ports” by estimating its lifespan
But in practice, isn't it more relevant to ask simple questions such as: "Are these Naked & Famous jeans, a little more expensive than the ones I own, worth it?" ; “will I wear it often enough?” ; “will it last me longer?” ; “do I have the budget for this?” and “does he appeal to me enough?”.
In this regard, if you really wanted to make a 100% rational choice whatever happens, the real equation would not be "value for money" but... Value for money / style! And it turns out that beauty, pleasure, is largely subjective, and not quantifiable...
This "style" component is rarely the strong point of brands which concentrate their entire sales pitch on very low prices for super quality, particularly with regard to being able to vary the designs: their economic model is based on the fact of being able to decline the same very “all-purpose” piece.
It is therefore complicated to constantly stick to this approach if you one day want to wear something other than the simplest basics.
If you only remember one thing from what I just told you: don't forget that in the end, you are not wearing a quality/price ratio but rather a piece of clothing. A piece that also has a style, a context, a use and a lot of other reasons to be bought, other than simply being "the ultimate bargain".
Stone Island sweatshirt for €150. We are not using a Japanese fleece so if we just look at the quality/price ratio, we can find better. Besides that, the color is worked, the material lightly scraped for a more raw look, and there is a yoke on the sleeve. If you like military inspirations, go for it.
Wanting at all costs to match the colors together
Very important point: do not over-intellectualize the assembly of colors.
To truly “put together” colors poorly, you need two things:
- Wanting it: in general, you know very well when you are going for vibrant colors, without trying too hard to balance them. Come on, admit it, you wanted to go crazy a little (and that's okay too!), knowing very well that there was a risk of error... Another thing: you are entirely dressed in dark gray basics , dark blue, black, dark brown, without playing on textures or volumes, without thinking too much... You won't really be surprised if your outfit ends up being very dull.
- Have very low-end pieces: you will quickly notice that opting for original colors, as well as the most strict ones, is much easier with top quality material, design and cut. Whereas with a cheap piece, you will look clownish or sad.
Unless you type in this type of room, you have very little chance of making a mistake. Take it the other way around: you can play with color matching, have fun with it, but you shouldn't make it a rule.
To tell the truth, if you worry too much, the biggest risk would be to seek complexity at all costs, the "best" to the point of wanting to match everything, making reminders of colors everywhere in your outfit... Well, well often, the result is strange and unnatural .
The jacket matched to the hat and tie + the shoes matched to the portfolio... It all lacks a bit of spontaneity.
Especially if we're talking about accessories. There's nothing worse than wanting to match them all: the hat in the same color as the scarf and, for that matter, your socks AND your gloves. Or, absolutely want bracelets to match the shoe laces...
Remember one thing about accessories: spontaneity is essential. Finding little reminders of color is good. Making it something forced and mechanical is too much.
To paraphrase Hugo Jacomet, our fellow founder of the Parisian Gentleman blog :
This kind of approach draws attention not to you, or your style, but to your efforts to appear elegant.
Being afraid of the image we project
There, we enter into something deeper but very common. I have heard many people tell me that they would like to have their own style, original and their own. But on the other hand, being afraid that it will look “too rich”; “too neat”; “too feminine”; "too sober"...
Sometimes, we are so afraid of the image we project that we cannot take sides. To accept that a “strong” style – at least, one that resembles us – will necessarily polarize and will not be able to please everyone.
We must learn here to differentiate between a completely absurd style
You can't wonder what a coin implies every time you see a new one. Instead, ask yourself if you like it and if it matches your style and your desires.
Focusing too much on the length of the pieces and any creases
Last classic case of overthinking : the length of the sleeves, the length of a shirt, the length of pants... and the sometimes visible folds!
Ah, the famous fold under the back pocket of jeans...
I often receive emails from readers who tell me they spotted a good pair of jeans , with well-designed back pockets, impeccable thighs, a beautiful canvas, but who didn't buy them because of the fold under the back pocket. I don't know if you realize: don't buy a nice pair of jeans just because of an unfortunate crease!
So sorry to disappoint some, but this fold is perfectly normal and natural. I've already said that "zero fold" was like zero risk: it doesn't exist and it never will.
Ah, wait, I'm told in the headset that zero pleats on pants would exist... It would be called leggings and we would find them more on women, with a minimum of 5% elastane. 😉
The same goes for jackets: a fitted jacket is not fitted everywhere, especially at the chest level . If this were the case, it would be uncomfortable and restrict your movements.
Here, the jacket is well fitted and a few cross folds form at the first button: this is normal.
Finally, don't worry too much about the lengths : sleeves, pants, etc. These are points that you should pay attention to, but always to a certain extent.
Example: if you are very tall and the sleeve of your sweater reaches 1 centimeter above your wrist bone, take a deep breath... and accept it.
It's mesh. It moves. It's expandable. Some even wear it rolled up to the elbows. Do not panic.
Conversely, same philosophy if you are small! Three centimeters of excess on the sleeves which form a small extra fold, a shirt which stops a little further than "precisely at mid-buttocks"... It's not serious. I tell you from the height of my 1m72 from the bottom of the heart. And then in the worst case, most of these parts can be retouched.
In this regard, you often ask me to what length you should ideally alter your pants ...
In general, I tell you that the "standard" length corresponds to a "clean" fit, without breakage due to excess material, or exposed ankles but... as long as we don't start to see your calves, or your pants do not form an accordion at the ankle, there is little chance that you will make a mistake!
Trust yourself. Ask yourself what you would like the most, what you think is best for your figure.
How to remedy overthinking in general?
Find the answer concretely: trying on clothes
Commit to making every trip to the store a moment of relaxation and discovery, but really do it.
Especially since there are a large number of small, welcoming shops, where you feel welcome and where you can ask the sellers for advice.
Have fun trying new pieces without buying them, discovering new cuts, new fabrics and new colors, instead of over-intellectualizing by systematically asking yourself if this piece is “good” or “bad”
Don't systematically look for the theoretical answer, rather move on to practice !
This therefore involves fittings, at home and in the cabin. If you're not sure about a color combination, try it! If you don't have an idea of how to match your cardigan, try it with the first item of clothing that comes to hand!
Overthinking is asking yourself lots of questions that don't need to be asked to reassure yourself. But to reassure yourself, there is only one way: TRY!
Take risks
You know some of your clothes go well together. You know others don't come together at all. And there is a third category, those who are in the “gray zone”: you don’t know and you doubt yourself in front of your mirror.
Lots of strong pieces and bright colors in this outfit: risky but it works.
There is only one solution to be sure: wear the outfit for a whole day and then form an opinion . Yes, sometimes you just need to receive a few compliments to realize that you are overthinking .
And remember, if it was really that bad, your survival instinct would have kept you from leaving the house.
Especially since with a base of clothing chosen more or less correctly, the risks are not that great. At worst, you will be dressed in a bland, but rarely shocking, manner.
Knowing how to put your clothes together comes with time and practice, so practice!
One last thing...
Among the most stylish men I know, there are quite a few who don't care about the three-color rule or the thickness of the sole of their sneakers.
If style is linked to a true mastery of the codes and rules of masculine elegance, it can on the contrary be a real mixture of audacity, carelessness, creativity and spontaneity. I'm just saying this in passing... but think about it!
Overthinking disappears all the more quickly as your tastes assert themselves.
And please me, when you ask yourself a question, try to find your answer by trying it on . If there's one thing I want you to remember, it's definitely the answer through practice!
If this article has given rise to a whole bunch of new questions in you, it doesn't matter: ask us in the comments!
