The Wedding Guide: the ideal guest outfit (4/4)

The feeling of not being in tune with one's environment is uncomfortable.

It's like finding yourself at the children's table when you're in your twenties. There's a feeling of unease that takes hold of us, like Alice, too big in a house that's too small.

And this especially applies to clothing, and the level of formality of one's own outfit compared to that of others. And beyond the personal discomfort that this can generate, it is also about showing respect for the ceremony as it was designed, that is to say for the bride and groom.

And that's where it can get stuck.

How exactly was this ceremony designed? Should I give a hand kiss or a kiss?

The guest sometimes knows what he is going to find and he has plenty of time to prepare an appropriate way of presenting himself, but sometimes he knows nothing. Let's see, in both cases, how to do it.

You don't know where you're going. Maybe even you are your spouse's +1 at this marriage. In fact, you don't know anyone. In fact, we can even say that you want to go there as much as you want to walk barefoot on a carpet of killer ants.

But as you are a man of your word, you will go. Well done.

The thing is, you're afraid of being overdressed . Or, worse yet, not being enough. We understand you.

In this case, I have an outfit to offer you:

The clothe :

• A medium gray suit
• A pale blue shirt (or white like here)
• A navy blue silk knit (or grenadine) tie
• Black shoes and socks
• A sober horizontal white pocket.

Yes — horror! —, you realize that marriage is rather casual: get rid of the tie, open a button on the shirt and hide the pocket square in the depths of your breast pocket.

Relax and have a glass of champagne.

If you want to fine-tune the details, you can always take with you, in your belongings, or the trunk of your car, a pair of brown derbies which can be used to relax the outfit drastically: you remove the jacket in addition to the tie and swap the black Oxfords for derbies, to wear with brown or blue socks, or gray which you will have taken care to bring.

This is an outfit that you can relax with ease.

It's already better, right? We breathe. The children's table moves away... after all, this marriage isn't going to be that bad.

Good very good.

Now let's say you know where you're going. Pretty much anyway. You know a few people in the audience, see what register to play on.

Story of my life. Probably yours too.

When we like to dress up, weddings are often an opportunity to step on the style pedal a little , even if it means sometimes exceeding the speed limits and ending up in the ditch. My first article on marriage called for temperance in dress. Well, here, I will not deny myself! It's not the Olympics of style. There is Pitti Uomo to do cartwheels. Here, it is better to slow down a little.

Well, that being said, we are not going to stoop to wearing a poorly cut suit just for the groom's beautiful eyes.

So here's how to do it:

There's the "x" in your equation. Wow, that sentence sounds weird. But you understood me.

Is the groom wearing traditional English attire, shiny shoes and a wing collar?

Does the groom opt for the 3-piece suit and tie/bow tie, to show off?

Is it a two piece tie/bow tie because any more would be too much?

Is it a two-piece with no neck accessory, hair sticking out of the shirt because it's my wedding but no one will put anything around my neck?

Is he in a simple shirt because he is a simple and authentic man?

Is he in calchemy?

If you don't have the slightest information on his outfit and you can't get any, return to the first part of this article.

If you know then match the level of formality of the outfit and, if you can, go more sober or simply less than him.

For example :

• If it's a 3-piece, be a 2-piece
• If he doesn't have a tie, don't wear one either.
• If he's just in a shirt, imitate him. You can't wear a vest either.

I repeat myself, but a wedding is not the place to go all out. Especially if you're invited. Eccentricity has no place in wedding photography. We ask you to smile and look presentable in the family photo album.

So, this is not necessarily the opportunity to take out your patterned suit, unless it is discreet and associated with sober accessories. For example: a Prince of Wales suit is indicated for a guest, if the pattern is faded and the shirt and tie are more modest.

Yes, if the marriage is not very formal.

But what is certain is that: if the groom is in a morning suit, take a suit . And even moreover, if it is in three or two pieces in my opinion!

Well, two pieces still work because there are chinos and chinos. As there are spades and spades. The gutter one and the living room one. Casual chinos in a slightly raw material that you roll up and chinos with pleats that you take to the retoucher to stop the leg where you need it . The first can be worn in a cool wedding, grilling and singing to the good flame, the second is suitable if the groom is in a two-piece for example.

If it's the first chinos, the ones you wear casually because it's the wedding vibe, you don't need me. On the other hand, to increase the level of formality of chinos, here is what I can advise you:

These are lounge chinos with a pleat all the way down the leg and they can have pleats too. It can be worn without cuffs and above all without being rolled up. With a tie if the groom wears one. Navy blue is very good. A burgundy or English green is also possible.

And if you don't like moccasins as we can see here, then wear derbies, nice ones in smooth leather, and if the checked shirt is not to your taste, a plain sky blue oxford will go perfectly . Or a white one or even a yellow or pale pink one. As long as you keep the jacket on your shoulders until you go to bed. This is the main. Because here, it is your blazer that holds the components of your outfit together. It's the chic of your casual. Without it, you're just casual.

We can of course imagine, in this outfit, that the blazer is double-breasted. You have to be careful not to have too generous lapels like SuitSupply perhaps, to stay in your guest place. But that's all.

Ah! The big question of the theme!

I'm not going to lie to you, it's not easy. Finally, it all depends on the theme.

The color theme: to follow or not to follow

If it's a color theme, put on a cover that recalls the color in question. Or a tie not in the exact color of the theme but which shows in the colors which compose it a shade which is close to it.

And, if it's very casual and you're not wearing a jacket, then I'd say you can skip it: after all, the witnesses will be decked out in one and the room will be decorated in that style. That will be enough.

What to avoid: wearing a pistachio shirt just to fit in with the theme. No no. You are not responsible for the questionable tastes of those who marry. Instead, if you find a bracelet in the color of the theme, a simple bracelet, I'm thinking of a little cotton cord, a woolen thread, that's the most you can do when the color is all-consuming.

And then we have trouble looking at ourselves in the mirror. All because of crazy ideas that are not ours.

I want to talk about themes like: panama hats for everyone, white weddings, required evening wear, the Roaring Twenties (still happening), everyone in sneakers, etc.

The thing is that if the bride and groom have imposed such a theme, it is because they see in their ceremony the opportunity to celebrate their union with humor and, not to comply with this will, is to be a trouble. -party . And you know what we do to troublemakers?

They are coated with feather and tar.

To avoid this, you must comply with the theme or not come at all . You would be perceived as a person devoid of humor, or not playing the game and there is a risk of a beautiful circle of courtesy forming around you on the dance floor, as if you were a shark swimming in the middle of a school. sardines.

Frankly I do not know. It's beyond my skills. But I imagine that from this point on, we can consider that the wedding turns into a fancy dress party and I no longer see anything stopping you from coming dressed as Master Yoda, Saruman or Maya the Bee.

If you have decided to go, I think you have to play along. If the theme is Harry Potter, you will look much more unusual in a formal two-piece suit with a Harry Potter pocket square rather than in a dress wizard and red wig...

Well, it's always tricky.

Because at the same time, if it doesn't work, the guests have misunderstood and no one other than the witnesses, the bride and groom and you play the game, it's a bit ugly. Small heart attack in perspective. And, for this reason, I advise you to bring a classic outfit , namely that of the three "cs": chinos-shirt-shoes.

No.

And yes.

But still rather no.

But it wouldn't be bad to do it.

Well, you have to decide.

No because the simple fact of coming accompanied proves your connection with this person. No because there is no point in adding a constraint to yourself. No, because elegance is a personal thing that does not need the support of another person to be complete. And not because, if it is poorly done, we fall into caricature.

Yes because it's pleasant to share an accessory, a color, something that binds us together as a couple. How charming and like a nod to the couple getting married.

Two levels:

1. You don't do a color recall strictly speaking but don't prevent it either. That is to say, you are not going to choose a bottle green suit if he/she is in yellow. Instead, you will choose shades that resonate with the color chosen by your +1.
2. A second level is to indulge in color recall. Here, a key word: be subtle ! There would be nothing worse than putting on the same glasses with electric blue frames. We would fall into a certain vulgarity. Too flashy. Too much effort. No, you have to subtly integrate the same color and there is no need for the tone to be the same. It's even better that he doesn't! If he/she is wearing a navy blue outfit, wear gray and, using your pocket square or tie, match it with blue.

I don't see any problem with it.

If weddings are part of the same register of formality, then there is no need to invest in an outfit each time.

Personally, this gives me the opportunity to vary the outfits because I like it, but it is not an imperative. You can also keep the same base (the navy blue, gray suit) and vary the assortment of accessories.

You know everything, or rather, you now know more than most people.