It's 4am. Voices echo under my windows. We are once again allowed to fill the night with our festive cries.
But no street for me. I am under house arrest. And it was not Castex who said it.
I occupy the living room couch in the dark. I don't watch TV. I don't read. I don't listen to music. I doze but I don't go to bed.
Because I have a hungry baby hanging on my arm. She stares at me with her big black eyes as she downs her 4 o'clock bottle.
As she has just finished, I put her on the changing table. As I have removed her barely soiled diaper, she chooses that moment to degas. An oil tanker on the edge of a coast. And the coast is me.
Luckily I don't wear fancy silk pajamas. I sleep in a t-shirt; the most shameful or rotten possible. If it has holes, it's better. It's breathable.
The one I'm wearing that night is in the wrong place at the wrong time. It ends its sad life in the trash. Bye-bye Monoprix t-shirt bought at least seven years ago! You can be proud of yourself, you will have served me with honor.
On the one hand, she's doing me a favor, this little girl. She's making me sort through my clothes. And she starts with my nightwear. So, it's an organization like any other.
As I'm thinking about this, she gets a hiccup, the hiccups make her regurgitate, which causes her to have a violent existential crisis consisting of tears, freaky breathless sobs, and scratches at her face.
In the arms, lullaby, rocking, there, there, reassure, reassure, shhhh, shhhh, everything is fine. I don't plan on going anywhere anyway.
She calms down and I think about my t-shirt in the trash.
It's decided, tomorrow I'm writing about fashion and fatherhood. I know, there are fathers among our readers. If it can interest. Or failing that, if it can revive memories.
A noise pulls me out of my reverie: she has fallen KO on my arm and is snoring like a French bulldog.
Paternity and clothing budget
That's just me, having a child during the sales.
When she was born, I spent an hour saying goodbye to all the clothes I had selected on my wishlist . Goodbye! Little angels gone too soon! We don't know each other and we probably never will. But my love for you was sincere.
Because you can turn things around any way you want. My clothing budget took a big hit.
Having a child costs money, and I wasn't exactly a model of good financial management. , I now have to deal with expenses that I didn't have.
In short. My little financial routine as I knew it is dead.
I'm not complaining, I chose it and knew it.
But now I have to deal with all this new data. I should also do my accounts, just to know exactly how much money I have left for clothes. I should, yes. But in any case I know it's not much.
So I gave myself one last treat, as if to seal this new pact I was making with myself. Like the smoker who knows he is smoking his last cigarette, I bought a piece of clothing that was too expensive for my new lifestyle.
Camoshita Patterned Cotton Voile Stockings - Beige Dresser
Spoiler alert : I'll probably send it back because I'm not convinced by the fit. That said, I say that after I put it on for half a second between two activities.
Spoiler alert bis : I'm keeping it! I tried it on again after writing the lines above and it's validated. Not by the street. But it's validated. Bordeaux, you better watch out.
All this to say that the theory according to which if you have a doubt when trying it on, it means it won't fit is not infallible .
I got it on Nitty Gritty (it was cheaper than on Beige ) but it was the last one I guess. It's not there anymore.
I can see myself walking around Bordeaux with these pants on my legs, a loose white t-shirt, a blazer and aubergine loafers. Oh yes, and a stroller, a baby, a diaper bag, a blanket, a pacifier and so on.
My outfits on Instagram are going to get a little denser.
But that's not the point!
In fact, if my clothing budget is reduced, it is not reduced to nothing either. I will always have the opportunity to buy clothes, but I will have more qualms about doing so if they are expensive.
My priorities have changed.
My new strategy is to only buy on Vinted , Leboncoin , Ebay etc. and in thrift stores. Second-hand , which I was already particularly fond of, is becoming my main way of consuming clothes and buying new is the exception.
My daughter pushes me to have an even more responsible consumption. Because on the one hand, she reduces it and on the other hand, she directs it differently. My daughter is an activist.
But there is another thing: the budget that I usually allocated to clothes, I now want to put elsewhere .
And it's with this in mind that I've been saving up since the beginning of my pregnancy to buy myself a new camera. Because I'm more interested in seeing my wardrobes filled with photo albums than clothes.
It takes up less space. Good news.
For those interested, it's this one:
It's a Fujifilm x100v with a fixed 23mm (35mm equivalent) lens .
Not received yet. I can't wait.
I took it because it was compact, I could take it everywhere, including when traveling, so it's perfect to make it like an extension of me, to pull out quickly.
But, as Benoît would say, "let's talk clothes". I would be delighted to "talk photos" but this is not the place. Unless... That gives me an idea! Anyway.
The fact that I organize my budget differently does not mean that I want to cut back on style. Never. And more than ever, I want to be that dad who has style and who has taught his daughter to develop her own personal taste.
And for that, I have to set an example, right?
Fatherhood and clothing style
Those who know me and know what I do for a living have all asked me the same question: "So, are you going to change your clothes?"
And the more technical ones go further: "are you going to start using Gore-Tex?"
To these I answer "no". I prefer to live dangerously. So far my strategy, that of avoidance or otherwise called "the side step technique", has worked rather well.
Using technical clothing to protect against regurgitation and other jets seems a bit annoying for my daughter. And if my partner is next to me at the fateful moment, it risks ricocheting off the powerful Gore-Tex and landing on her.
The word "Gore-Tex" would take on a whole new meaning...
Well, the avoidance strategy works in general. Sometimes, there are misfires.
The face of joy of life and personal fulfillment.
This is the state of my Corridor shirt (which I love so much) after my daughter (who I love so much) took care of it.
We notice that she aimed well. Right next to the yellow diaper.
Good news, it doesn't stain. I'm looking forward to the diversification, just to become an expert once and for all in clothing care.
"What? A laughing cow stain? Easy! You rub it with kumquat powder while singing the Marseillaise, of course!"
"What? A tomato chocolate stain? Nothing could be easier, you cut the stain with scissors and sew a patch on it."
I feel like I'm going to develop new skills.
Either that, or I'll become a Zen master. Or both.
AC/DC.....de.
See things with detachment already seems to me to be the best strategy: there is a stain, well too bad, that's life, it's no one's fault.
Well, if it's the baby's fault, well, it seems that they are not really responsible for their actions. Even if I saw a slight smile on my daughter's mouth after a regurgitation. Coincidence or demonic spirit in an infant's body, frankly my heart is wavering.
So accepting seems better for everyone . And maybe avoid giving her the bottle or changing her into your custom-made suit.
So how do we dress exactly?
Fatherhood and the ideal wardrobe
As is often said , the ideal wardrobe is a myth . Let's just say that there is no ONE ideal wardrobe. It depends on where you are in your quest for style, your daily life, your tastes and your budget.
As a young father, I will however put forward a few elements which seem important to me:
- Comfort, more than ever. I don't really see myself taking care of my daughter with new 18oz jeans or even shoes that need to be made. You have to be able to be agile. The right reflex that prevents falling. And so, more than ever in my purchases, I will favor a certain width.
- Not too fragile materials. Yes of course, because probably my clothes will be put through a lot. So maybe don't wear that delicate cashmere, wild silk or whatever when you're taking care of the baby.
- This is related to the previous point: you need clothes that can be machine washed without any problems . When you have free time, you want to do something other than wash a bunch of clothes by hand.
- Clothes with character . Yes, because outfits are getting simpler. I don't really have time (for the moment) to go through my wardrobe 5 times wondering what I can do that's new this morning! So you need something effective, beautiful, bold, panache of course, always, but panache that can be activated simply.
My main outfit for the next few months
- Vintage washed Levi's 501 jeans with comfort in the thighs. I'm currently looking for some with even more comfort. Maybe just go up a size.
- A white t-shirt ( Bronson MFG ) or gray or another color, because it's easy to care for and if I have to carry heavy things, I'm immediately comfortable. And then it's not very expensive, so if there are going to be accidents, I wouldn't be too upset.
- To go out, a jacket ( Beams+ ) with pockets . The pacifier jumps out, the diaper bag is not accessible, we stuff it in the pocket. And then a jacket can be removed in no time in case of heat stroke.
- Comfortable loafers ( GH Bass & Co ) or tennis shoes like Vans , Asahi , Doek . These types of loafers are as comfortable as tennis shoes. And their advantage is that they are easy to take off. You have the baby in your arms, you go home, you sit on the sofa, no need for your hands, you are already shoes off.
- The necklace is for fun. It's the latest drop from Borali . Very successful! For now, I can afford to wear some more. The day she becomes mischievous and wants to strangle me with it, I'll probably leave it in the closet.
- The cap ( Berg&Berg ) for fun too. It looks cool dad of course, but it allows you to add personality to your look and especially to avoid having your hair in your eyes. I assure you that it makes a difference when your hands are full.
Variant 1
We swap the blazer for a denim jacket, the jeans become wide chinos and the loafers become tennis shoes.
Simple, to the point and comfortable.
Variant 2
Just swap out the blazer for a shirt. Echoing the elements I mentioned above about the ideal wardrobe, it's a good idea to choose shirts that look great even when they're not ironed:
- Oxford
- Denim
- Chambray
- Corduroy
- ...
Here my shirt was not ironed for example. But since it is an oxford, it works well.
Yes, those evenings where you took the time to iron in front of the Sunday movie are gone. No more time to do that. There is always the solution of dropping off the clothes at the dry cleaners but it is a budget and the dry cleaners have to be nearby.
So !
That's all I can say at this point. This vision of fatherhood and style is likely to change of course. It will change as my daughter grows up. The stakes will not be the same.
And then, even in this context, we must not forget to have fun with clothes , to have fun with them. As I often say, from constraints can be born creativity. The constraints are there, we know them. So it's time to be creative, to explore new stylistic avenues.
Next time I'll teach you how to combine your love of sports with TV. and paternity.
