Recently, a reader told me that he wanted to buy a coat from a good brand that he really fell in love with. But the price seemed high to him, even though the buttons were plastic... I advised him to try the piece on, just to see.
He gave me his feedback: the piece is beautiful, and it really suits him. But it doesn't fall right on the shoulder break, as they explain in the rules of art.
Yes, the brand in question sizes large on certain pieces because it has a real streetwear influence. But above all, if the piece fits well, why ask this question?
I think I have come across a typical case of overthinking .
At BonneGueule, overthink is that moment when you think too much. You rack your brains over details that seem more and more important as they occupy your mind.
"Isn't my backhand half a centimeter too wide?"
When you wonder if you are thinking too much, it is already too late!
Some people take these kinds of questions very seriously, and I've been surprised to see how anxiety-provoking it can get at times. So it's time to do some housekeeping with all that!
Overthinking: where does it come from?
Overthinking , from what I can gather, comes mainly from two things:
- a lack of trying on clothes without buying,
- an attempt at extreme rationalization.
Why is it so important to try without buying? Simply because most of the time, it answers your questions in a concrete way.
Trying on a pair of boots will tell you if you like the style. Trying on two different colored knits will tell you which one suits you best (and you like it the most). So try, try, and try again!
Therefore, when a beginner does not have any concrete answers (from fittings), he tries to find them by rationalizing to the extreme.
The precise height of a sole or the millimeter-precise leg opening of a pair of jeans should not become unavoidable purchasing criteria.
Getting dressed should remain a pleasure above all else
Sure, it sounds a bit like a cliché, but it's so true that it's essential to remember it.
Never forget what I have said a lot:
Men's fashion is not made for worrying.
Frame this sentence and hang it on your closet door.
If you ever have doubts that are too present in your approach to men's fashion, it's because you're on the wrong track. In other words, don't entertain questions without answers!
If putting together an outfit is not a pleasure for you, and if it even becomes a source of anxiety and existential questions, there is clearly something wrong.
So do me a favor and insist that every moment in contact with a garment includes pleasure. That alone will keep you away from overthinking forever!
Don't hesitate to enter a store to look, touch, ask for advice, and above all try!
Moving away from a vision that is too theoretical and far removed from reality
I will take a concrete case, which often occurs when one reads a lot of precise and in-depth articles.
You want to choose a pair of shoes and you have read a lot about the different shoe constructions, stitching, leather quality, etc.
Problem: when you arrive at the store, you notice that the assembly is very clean, that the seams are good but nothing more. While you learned that they should be very fine and regular in the optimal case.
And there you see that the leather has a tiny imperfection while you read that it should be perfectly uniform. You then say to yourself:
"Should I take them or not? On the one hand, they look great, but on the other hand... This little crease... And there, this seam is a little rough..."
There you have it, you are in full overthink mode .
In fact, the problem with advanced theoretical knowledge is that it gives you (wrongly) a utopian and sanitized vision of men's fashion, where the slightest imperfection is disappointing and must be banished.
The leather is not entirely uniform across the entire upper, yet this pair is very nice and of quite acceptable quality.
I see your answer coming:
But tell me, aren't you the one who talks to us all the time about the quality of materials, the manufacturing, and who wants to transmit to us the taste for things well made? It's a bit like saying one thing and its opposite there, isn't it?
Absolutely not! We are also not telling you "beautiful, smooth, uniform leather is uninteresting, buy cheap", or "you don't need to worry about wobbly tailoring".
The goal is mainly to make you put things into perspective. reminding you that a choice is also made in relation to contextual, subjective elements. Elements that meet the needs and desires of each person, and not just an "absolute value".
Example: you want a pair that would fit in very well with a slightly rugged look, that has a raw, even slightly damaged appearance... Well, in this specific case, a slightly lower quality leather , with a "wear patina", will do the job really well.
And the good news is that it's (usually) cheaper than the kind of "perfect leather" you were thinking about. If it also has a nice creative bias, which is hard to find in a brand that makes "classic" shoes, and it seems sturdy to you, why bother?
Do you really need the brand to have used a top-quality, full-grain calfskin, with a smooth and perfect vegetable tan, only to then sand it down, dirty it and ultimately give it a worn appearance?
Or even having perfectly straight, tight and aligned seams on a pair that you want to wear with completely casual clothes anyway?
I think not!
Remember that to design clothes without releasing them at a luxury price, just like to buy them, you need one essential asset: the art of compromise!
This very smooth vision of clothes is at odds with a reality that includes roughness, nuances and yes, sometimes a few folds.
Overthink and high-end pieces: the power of photos
Be careful: a photo can be misleading in terms of texture, proportions, cut or material. You may have the impression that a coat has volume in the back when it doesn't. And don't forget that clothing moves! It follows the movements of its wearer and you can't see that in a photo.
In practice, you shouldn't aim for zero wrinkles. Just because a jacket isn't the best fitted in the world doesn't mean it's bad.
Let's be clear, there are indeed jackets with zero creases; shoes that are perfectly molded to your feet; shirts cut to your most specific requirements, with top-quality mother-of-pearl buttons, extremely fine seams and very tight stitches... This is called luxury custom-made and it costs a lot of money. Here, you can afford to be just as demanding.
Otherwise, don't lock yourself into a sanitized and perfect vision of men's fashion because it is an insidious path to overthinking .
Benoit has a lot of compliments on this suit. However, you can see some creases on the jacket. For the pants, it is mostly related to the movement.
Classic cases of overthink
Of course, of course. However, when you want to learn how to find your style, there are still some essential things to know, right? What is the limit between essential knowledge and overthinking?
Good question!
For the past two years, I have been the Community Manager at BonneGueule, answering all your style and shopping questions.
And to answer you concretely, I therefore suggest that we go into detail about some of the most recurring cases where overthinking is at its peak. I hope that this will allow you to take a step back from these specific questions.
Obsessing over value for money
I think this is the case we see most every day: looking for the best possible quality/price ratio at all costs! The mistake? Forgetting that we are also buying a cut, a style and that there are other types of added value on a piece.
Sometimes I feel like doing this is like looking for the best deal possible while forgetting what you really love.
Typically, this black Burton blazer is a great value for money: beautiful Italian material, made in Europe and for just 200 euros. But one could criticize it for being a bit boring...
Some even go so far as to calculate "the cost of a part per number of ports" by estimating its lifespan. . In principle, it is good to worry about the durability of the parts. It is even something that we strongly defend on BonneGueule and that we have rationalized in certain articles .
But in practice, isn't it more relevant to ask simple questions such as: "are these Naked & Famous jeans, a little more expensive than the ones I own, worth it?"; "will I wear them often enough?"; "will they last me longer?"; "do I have the budget for them?" and "do I want them enough?".
By the way, if you really wanted to make a 100% rational choice no matter what, the real equation would not be "quality/price ratio" but... Quality/price/style ratio! And it turns out that beauty, pleasure, is largely subjective, and not quantifiable...
This "style" component is rarely the strong point of brands that focus their entire sales pitch on very low prices for super quality, particularly in terms of being able to vary designs: their economic model is based on being able to produce the same very "all-purpose" piece.
So it's complicated to constantly stay in this approach if you ever want to wear something other than the simplest basics.
If you only remember one thing from what I just told you: don't forget that in the end, you are not wearing a quality/price ratio but a garment. A piece that also has a style, a context, a use and a bunch of other reasons to be bought, than just being "the ultimate bargain".
Stone Island sweatshirt for €150. This isn't Japanese fleece, so if you're just looking at the quality/price ratio, you can find better. Besides that, the color is worked, the material is slightly scratched for a more raw look, and there's a yoke on the sleeve. If you like military inspirations, go for it.
Wanting to match colors at all costs
Very important point: do not over-intellectualize the assembly of colors.
To actually "mismatch" colors, you need two things:
- Wanting it: in general, you know very well when you are on bright colors, without trying too hard to balance them. Come on, admit it, you wanted to go a little crazy (and that's good too!), knowing very well that there was a risk of error... Another thing: you are entirely dressed in basic dark gray, dark blue, black, dark brown, without playing on textures or volumes, without thinking too much... You won't really be surprised if your outfit ends up being very dull.
- Having very low-end pieces: you will quickly notice that choosing original colors, just like the stricter ones, goes much easier with a quality of material, a design and a top cut. Whereas with a cheap piece, you will look clownish or sad.
Unless you're into these kinds of pieces, you're unlikely to make a mistake. Take it the other way around: you can play around with the color matching, have fun with it, but you shouldn't make it a rule.
To tell the truth, if you take it too seriously, the biggest risk would be to seek complexity at all costs, the "best" to the point of wanting to match everything, to make color references everywhere in your outfit... And very often, the result is strange and unnatural .
The jacket matching the hat and tie + the shoes matching the portfolio... It all lacks a bit of spontaneity.
Especially when it comes to accessories. There's nothing worse than wanting to match them all: a hat that's the same color as your scarf and, while you're at it, your socks AND your gloves. Or, absolutely wanting bracelets that match your shoelaces...
One thing to remember about accessories: spontaneity is key. Finding little reminders of color is good. Making it feel forced and mechanical is too much.
To paraphrase Hugo Jacomet, our fellow founder of the Parisian Gentleman blog :
This kind of approach draws attention not to you or your style, but to your efforts to appear elegant.
Being afraid of the image you project
Here, we enter into something deeper but very common. I have heard many people tell me that they would like to have their own style, original and unique. But at the same time, they are afraid that it will be "too rich"; "too neat"; "too feminine"; "too sober"...
Sometimes, we are so afraid of the image we project that we cannot take sides. We can accept that a "strong" style - at least one that resembles us - will necessarily polarize and will not be able to please everyone.
Here we must learn to distinguish between a completely absurd style and a slightly differentiating approach that may or may not please, but which will not be shocking like a man in kangaroo briefs, with a top hat and hiking boots.
You can't ask yourself what a piece means every time you see a new one. Instead, ask yourself if you like it and if it fits your style and desires.
Focusing too much on the length of the pieces and possible creases
Last classic case of overthinking : the length of sleeves, the length of a shirt, the length of trousers... and the sometimes visible folds!
Ah, the famous crease under the back pocket of a pair of jeans...
I often receive emails from readers who tell me they have spotted a good pair of jeans , with well-designed back pockets, impeccable thighs, a beautiful fabric, but who did not buy them because of the crease under the back pocket. I don't know if you realize: don't buy a nice pair of jeans just because of an unfortunate crease!
So sorry to disappoint some, but this crease is perfectly normal and natural. I have already said that "zero creases" are like zero risk: they do not exist and will never exist.
Oh wait, I'm told in my earpiece that zero crease pants exist... They'd be called leggings and they'd be more commonly found on women's clothing, with a minimum of 5% elastane. 😉
The same goes for jackets: a fitted jacket is not fitted everywhere, especially at chest level . If it were, it would be uncomfortable and would limit your movements.
Here, the jacket is well fitted and a few cross pleats form at the first button: this is normal.
Finally, don't worry too much about lengths : sleeves, pants, etc. These are points that you need to pay attention to, but always to a certain extent.
Example: If you are very tall and the sleeve of your sweater comes 1 centimeter above your wrist bone, take a deep breath... and accept it.
It's mesh. It moves. It's stretchy. Some people even wear it rolled up to their elbows. Don't panic.
Conversely, the same philosophy applies if you are short! Three centimetres of excess on the sleeves that form a small extra fold, a shirt that stops a little further than "precisely at mid-buttocks"... It doesn't matter. I'm telling you from the height of my 1m72 from the bottom of my heart. And then in the worst case, most of these pieces can be retouched.
By the way, you often ask me at what length you should ideally have your pants altered ...
In general, I tell you that the "standard" length corresponds to a "clean" fall, without breakage due to excess material, or exposed ankles but... as long as we don't start to see your calves, or your pants don't form an accordion at the ankle, there is little chance that you are mistaken!
Trust yourself. Ask yourself what you would like the most, what seems most pleasant for your figure.
How to remedy overthinking in general?
Find the answer in concrete terms: trying on clothes
Commit to making every shopping trip a time of relaxation and discovery, but really do it.
Especially since there are a large number of small, welcoming shops where you feel welcome and where you can ask the sellers for advice.
Have fun trying on new pieces without buying them, discovering new cuts, new fabrics and new shades, instead of intellectualizing to excess and systematically asking yourself if this piece is "good" or "bad" .
Don't systematically look for the theoretical answer, rather move on to practice !
This therefore involves fittings, at home and in the dressing room. If you are not sure about a color combination, try it! If you have no idea how to match your cardigan, try it with the first item of clothing that comes to hand!
Overthinking is asking yourself a lot of questions that don't need to be asked in order to reassure yourself. But to reassure yourself, there is only one way: TRY!
Take risks
You know that some of your clothes go well together. You know that others don't go together at all. And there is a third category, those who are in the "gray zone": you don't know and you doubt in front of your mirror.
Lots of strong pieces and bright colours in this outfit: risky but it has its effect.
There is only one way to be sure: wear the outfit for a whole day and then form an opinion . Yes, sometimes all it takes is a few compliments to realize that you were swimming in overthinking .
And remember, if it was really that bad, your survival instincts would have kept you from leaving your house.
Especially since with a base of clothes chosen more or less correctly, the risks are not that great. At worst, you will be dressed in a bland but rarely shocking way.
Knowing how to put your clothes together comes with time and practice, so practice!
One last thing...
Among the most stylish men I know, there are quite a few who couldn't care less about the three-color rule or the thickness of the soles of their sneakers.
If style is linked to a true mastery of the codes and rules of masculine elegance, it can be on the contrary a real mix of audacity, negligence, creativity and spontaneity. I say this just in passing... but think about it a little!
Overthinking disappears all the more quickly as your tastes become more pronounced.
And please do me a favor, when you ask yourself a question, try to find your answer by trying it on . If there is one thing I want you to remember, it is definitely the answer through practice!
If this article has given rise to a whole bunch of new questions in you, that's okay: ask them to us in the comments!
